Suspicious Characters

OneofUs

Artist – Nick Anderson

In other news, Bank of America’s Countrywide unit was ordered to pay a fine of $1.3 billion today for selling shitty mortgages ahead of the 2008 financial crisis. Calling them “defective” mortgages doesn’t cut it.

Meanwhile, Speaker of the House John Boehner apparently didn’t get the Okay from Boss Limbaugh before declaring that impeachment is off the table.

And finally, Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) basically called Lois Lerner a bitch today except he didn’t actually the word because he’s a Very Serious Grown Man with a stupid smirk.

Posted in Open Thread, Rush Limbaugh, Steve Stockman | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Why Do Republicans Hate the Constitution and Babies?

After saying that the governor should send the National Guard to another state to confront the invasion of small, defenseless children during a town hall meeting, Representative Steven Palazzo (R-MS) said he wants to deport even the children who are born here inside the United States.

U.S. Rep. Steven Palazzo told constituents Monday night that Gov. Phil Bryant should send National Guard troops to Texas to help with the border crisis. [...]

Palazzo also said he would support changing federal law that allows children born to illegal immigrants in America to remain as citizens. Palazzo said he believes “anchor babies” should be deported with their parents.

The Fourteenth Amendment dictates that anyone born inside the United States is automatically a citizen.

I guess if you’re a strict constitutional originalist, you may or may not view the Fourteenth Amendment as legitimate.

It’s easy to get confused when Republicans selectively support or deride segments of the constitution depending on what day of the week it is and who the target of their ire is.

We all know the Second Amendment is sacrosanct, but other amendments are apparently debatable.

What would a theoretical constitution drafted by today’s Republicans look like?

Posted in Immigration, Racism | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Outreach: Rep. Gohmert (R-TX) Says Immigrant Children are Terrorists and Rapists

GohmertFox

Representative Louie Gohmert (R-Batshit) says immigrant children from Central America have been coached to say they’ve fled violence in their home countries.

Why would someone coach them to say that? Because, according to Gohmert, they’re terrorists and rapist who only appear harmless.

via RightWingWatch

“Texas and the United States is [sic] being invaded and we’re in danger,” Gohmert said, before alleging that most of the unaccompanied minors are lying when they tell border patrol agents that they are escaping gang violence in Central America and have been coached to make such claims. Gohmert said minors end up telling officers that “we were told to say that we were fleeing gang violence.”

The congressmen went on to say that “the penetration of criminals and terrorists across our southern border” represents a threat to the U.S. comparable to the threat of a nuclear strike from Iran against Israel.

Gohmert also says the real War on Women is President Obama’s enabling of these child rapists who obviously travel thousands of miles just to commit rapes.

GOHMERT: If you want to talk about a War on Women, talk about the president not securing the border that allowed 7,000 women to be raped or sexually assaulted in Texas.

This would be a good time to remind you that the overwhelming majority of children who have migrated here from Central America are under 10-years-old. A majority of them haven’t even entered puberty. They’re children. They came here looking for food and shelter because some damn fool led them to believe America was a land of compassion and opportunity.

We may know that Louie Gohmert is a disturbed man who belongs in a padded cell, but each insane thing he says encourages the armed lunatics who’ve decided to take matters into their own hands. And the ironic truth is it’s more likely his words will lead to the death of local law enforcement than the mythical invading rapists he speaks of.

Posted in Immigration, Wingnuts | Tagged , | 10 Comments

GOP Rep: Why Aren’t We Impeaching?

Representative Walter Jones (R-NC) doesn’t want to sue the president because they could be impeaching the president instead.

“Why not impeach instead of wasting $1 million to $2 million of the taxpayers’ money?” Jones asked. “If you’re serious about this, use what the founders of the Constitution gave us.”

The congressman said he will vote against legislation authorizing the lawsuit, which will likely come to a vote on Thursday. The House Rules Committee voted to advance the legislation last week.

Why do Democrats keep talking about impeachment? It must be a fundraising scam.

The implication seems to be that impeachment wouldn’t also be a waste — perhaps a much larger waste — of taxpayer money.

Posted in Stupid Party | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Steve King: I’m Not Pushing Impeachment Except When I Am

Iowa congressman, secret border control agent, and “man trying to forget what he buried in that cornfield” Steve King told CNN today that he isn’t pushing impeachment but also said we should impeach the president if he continues to do presidential things.

KING: I am not pushing impeachment. What I am doing is trying to deter the president from violating the constitution in a way we have never seen in the history of this country. That’s what that part is.

CUOMO: You have suggested impeachment.

KING: I have said that if the president continues to violate the constitution, if he should with the stroke of his pin, as he’s threatening to do with his trial balloons this last week, decides he’s going to grant amnesty in a lawless way — we’ve all taken an oath to uphold the constitution and I wouldn’t want some member of Congress to say that ‘whatever the president does, no matter how bad it is, we’re not gonna use the constitutional obligation.’

This interview is actually a bit of a misnomer because Steve King has been pushing impeachment not just recently but for years. It’s well documented.

You can go back nearly four years and find rumblings of impeachment over Solyndra. You can go back nearly three years and find rumblings of impeachment over Fast and Furious. The House Oversight Committee has been dedicated to finding the impeachment smoking gun for nearly four years. Each successive fake scandal manufactured by Darrell Issa’s Oversight Committee and the conservative entertainment complex has brought up talk of impeachment.

The idea that Democrats are the ones pushing impeachment talk is simply inaccurate. Democrats are several years late to the impeachment party.

Chris Cuomo deserves extra credit for not allowing King to wiggle his way out with grandiose rhetoric.

(H/T ThinkProgress)

Posted in Stupid Party | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Unanimous Consent

ObamasFault2

Artist – Nick Anderson

In other news, President Obama is reportedly considering issuing an executive order that would grant work permits to millions of immigrants according to the Associated Press.

Republicans will shit a brick. I can’t wait.

Meanwhile, Senate candidate Joni Ernst (R-IA) is a little confused about what laws states can nullify or, in this case, what they can’t nullify.

Posted in Immigration, Open Thread | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Pray the Regulation Away

Sepeaking of Big Coal, this is bewildering.

Regulators from the Alabama Public Service Commission have asked residents of Alabama to pray that the Environment Protection Agency will change it’s mind on regulating carbon emissions.

At their news conference today Cavanaugh and PSC commissioner-elect Chip Beeker invoked the name of God in stating their opposition to the EPA proposal. Beeker, a Republican who is running unopposed for a PSC seat, said coal was created in Alabama by God, and the federal government should not enact policy that runs counter to God’s plan.

Who has the right to take what God’s given a state?” he said. [...]

I hope all the citizens of Alabama will be in prayer that the right thing will be done,” she said.

The Public Service Commission’s job is regulate the rates utilities can charge their customers and what amount of profit they are allowed to earn from it.

Rather than assure the citizens of Alabama that they will not allow utilities to charge them extra without evidence that it’s really necessary, and even though the Alabama Power Co. apparently has not said what impact the new regulations could have on prices, they’re asking for prayer to stop the EPA.

A prayer to continue polluting the air with reckless abandon. Because Jesus.

I give up.

Posted in Environment, Religion | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments

GOP Rep: Clean Air is Just Like Terrorism

Picard and Riker Facepalm

Leave Big Coal alone!

“You talk about terrorism — you can do it in a lot of different ways,” [Rep. Mike Kelly (R-PA)] said. “But you terrorize the people who supply everything this country needs to be great — and you keep them on the sidelines — my goodness, what have we become?” [...]

“When a government can level on you taxes and regulations that makes it impossible for you to compete, then you’re going to stay on the sidelines,” he said.

I thought apple pie, hot dogs, and shitty beer made America great. I didn’t know our secret ingredient was dirty, old coal power plants.

But I digress.

I don’t believe real victims of terrorism would appreciate Kelly’s comparison of terrorism to environmental regulations.

Kelly also referred to coal as “sustainable” which tells me he has no idea how coal was created in the first place.

Posted in Environment | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Do Something, No Don’t Do Something

Thanks Obama

It’s a day that ends with Y which means it’s a day that we discover something else that is Obama’s fault.

House Republican leadership are blaming President Obama for deteriorating conditions in Libya, which is ironic given their past opposition to taking action.

“Unfortunately, this development was predictable, given the lack of direction and leadership from this Administration since it ousted Muammar Gaddafi,” [House Foreign Affairs Committee Chair Ed Royce (R-CA)] said in a statement. “Our diplomatic absence will make the hard task of achieving political stability in Libya even harder. When security conditions permit the return of our diplomats, the Administration must give them a new charge to help end the fighting and move Libya forward.

House Intelligence Committee Chair Mike Rogers (R-MI) said the escalating violence “is what happens when the United States is not engaged and lacks a clear foreign policy that includes strong U.S. leadership,” according to The Hill.

Congressional Republicans adamantly opposed the president when American forces took part in an international operation to end the war in Libya.

They demanded that he answer for deploying American forces without asking for congressional approval which he did not need during the opening days of the operation.

What’s happening now is unfortunate, but congressional Republicans hardly have the standing to crow about it. That is unless they’re prepared to make the case for a military operation.

Put up or shut up.

Posted in Foreign Policy, Libya | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Conspiracy Theory 3: The Obamaphone Invasion

JonesGheen

William Gheen, the president of the Americans for Legal Immigration PAC and man who believes China will deploy immigrant children in a secret invasion, has a new theory: President Obama is using Obamaphones to recruit immigrant child soldiers.

via RightWingWatch

“They’re doing that by bringing in people who have no shared national or cultural experience with us, that are willing to literally say or do anything that their new masters call on them to do to protect their positions,” Gheen said. “Once Obama brings these ‘kids’ in, gives them their Obamaphone, enrolls them in Obamacare, puts them in a public school, pays for their housing, pays for their foods…These people will do anything that their leaders call them to do, and I mean literally anything.”

They tell us they’re just kids. They tell us they’re defenseless. But as William Gheen once said, they may “smile at you as they serve you your cheeseburger or peruse across your lawn with a weed eater” but they’re actually waiting for “you and your whole family to die.”

“The problem about trying to take up full gun confiscation and cracking down in a totalitarian fashion against American citizens is, who amongst the country hates their fellow countrymen and women so much that you can turn them to do that? They only have a small section of people that are willing to do that, and it’s probably going to be the people who remain loyal to Obama to the very end,” he continued.

Oh. It makes perfect sense now. The president has purchased the loyalty of immigrants with Obamaphones so he can use them to execute Americans.

Americans don’t actually seem to have a problem shooting each other with great frequency, but I digress.

“These people that come in, if they come to them and say, ‘You must do this for your glorious leader or you’re going back to the jungle and you gotta give the phone back and the food back and the free lodging back,’ they’ll probably, most of them will make the decision to do about anything.”

“Back to the Jungle” he said with racism dripping from his maw like a drooling hound.

Several weeks ago Gheen theorized that China would use the immigrant child soldiers in some kind of secret Skrull invasion and that President Obama has enabled them because he wants to punish “evil Whitey.”

Amusingly, Gheen himself entered our comment section and denied the report, saying that it lacked context.

GheenComment

Gheen has since repeated this wild conspiracy theory more than once with several variations. It’s not a shock, however, that he saved the wildest and mostly racially-tinged tale for Captain Conspiracy himself Alex Jones.

Sitting congressmen and several of those who are currently running for office have sought Gheen’s endorsement in the past and he is not alone in the tinfoil hat club.

The likes of Steve King (R-IA), Louie Gohmert (R-TX), and Steve Stockman (R-TX) have also theorized that President Obama is using immigrant children as a Trojan horse to bring about the end of America as we know it.

I predicted the next theory would involve Nazis on the Moon. I didn’t see Obamaphones factoring into the president’s grand design of deception.

Not that it needs to be said, but “Obamaphones” aren’t a real thing that exists. “Obamaphone” is a reference to a program for the poor that provide phone service to recipients of other social programs. Cellphones have been offered by the program since before Obama even became president.

Did President Obama use his time machine to initiate the cellphone program before he was sworn into office?

Posted in Conspiracy Theory, Immigration, Wingnuts | Tagged , , | 8 Comments

House GOP Unveil Pathetic Border Bill

House Republicans will, evidently, vote on a border bill before leaving town for the August recess, however the bill they’ve unveiled is a little more than one sixth of what President Obama requested.

Republicans hope to pass $659 million in supplemental spending for the border crisis before leaving for the August recess, Speaker John A. Boehner said after a GOP conference meeting Tuesday. [...]

Two-thirds of the funding will be for border security, with $40 million going to prevention and the balance going to humanitarian assistance, according to a GOP aide. It will run through Sept. 30.

As you probably recall, President Obama submitted a request for $3.7 billion which would take care of the problem for the remainder of the year.

It’s not clear if the bill will actually pass the House if it’s brought up for a vote on Thursday because, according to other reports, this tiny bill includes other demands Republicans have made such as changes to DACA and human trafficking laws.

These changes reduce the chances that House Democrats will vote for the bill and there are some conservatives who don’t want to pass a bill at all.

Regardless of whether their temporary extension passes, we’ll be having the same conversation two months from now and, next time, it could be tied to a continuing resolution that funds the entire government.

I don’t think we’re headed for another government shutdown, but I do expect a heaping pile of negative press for the Republican party between August and November.

Congress will leave town on Thursday night.

Posted in Congress, Immigration | Tagged | 4 Comments

Leadership

Leadership

Artist – Rob Rogers

In other news, Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL) is demanding that Republicans refuse to vote for any border bill unless the bill also prohibits the president from issuing more executive orders.

I guess we can add that to the long list of demands they’re making for a theoretical bill that they may not even vote on before leaving for recess this Thursday.

Posted in Immigration, Open Thread | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Obama’s Fault

Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant (R) says it’s Obama’s fault that that Mississippi has a high rate of uninsured persons.

BRYANT: “If statistics show that the ill-conceived and so-called Affordable Care Act is resulting in higher rates of uninsured people in Mississippi, I’d say that’s yet another example of a broken promise from Barack Obama.”

Here’s the problem: Bryant has refused to expand Medicaid under Obamacare.

Over 130,000 people have no coverage because of Bryant.

picard-facepalm2

Posted in Stupid Party | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Let’s Destroy Our Image and the Environment

Cruz

It’s still unclear if congressional Republicans will even pass a bill to handle the influx of undocumented children from Central America before they leave town for the August recess, but they continue to make demands on how to handle it.

They’re now blaming federally-protected land and wildlife for making the situation worse.

“There is no doubt that the restrictions on accessing land along the border have made it more difficult for the Border Patrol to do their job,” said Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), who traveled to McAllen County, Texas, earlier this month to meet with officials about the surge of child migrants into the United States. [...]

“It seems a commonsense reform to say that the border patrol should be able to fully access and patrol the border,” he said.

A House Republican working group led by Rep. Kay Granger (R-Texas) this week recommended prohibiting the Interior and Forest Service from in any way hampering border patrol.

The great irony of Ted Cruz discussing matters that make the Border Patrol’s job more difficult is the fact that Ted Cruz has been urging his colleagues in the House to vote against any border bill that doesn’t roll back DACA and protections for possible victims of abuse and human trafficking.

The Border Patrol will begin running out of money over the next two months unless congressional Republicans act.

Let’s not forget this all being said and done in the name of deporting children as quickly as possible, and not just those who have recently crossed the border. Congressional Republicans want to deport anyone who is currently benefiting from deferred action, including DREAMers.

Furthermore, the children and families who have recently crossed the border have sought out and surrendered themselves to the Border Patrol. They are not using our environmental regulations against us by avoiding areas that agents supposedly cannot access. They want to be caught.

Congressional Republicans have pulled this environmental regulation canard straight out of their ass.

Posted in Environment, Immigration | Tagged , , | 8 Comments

Boehner: We’re Suing the Welfare President Because We Agree With Him

BoehnerBawling

Speaker of the House John Boehner laid out the case for suing the president today in an op-ed column for USA Today, and if you can make past the egregious lies contained in the opening paragraphs, you’ll find that Boehner openly admits that he and his colleagues agree with the president’s actions.

Given the groundbreaking nature of this legal action, we want to assert our clearest constitutional position. The fact we agree with a change that should have been made in law makes this case clearer to the court.

I oppose the employer mandate in the president’s health care law. The House of Representatives has voted to delay or eliminate it (and we will do so again if we prevail in court). But it is the letter of the law that was passed by Congress and signed by President Obama. He simply cannot unilaterally rewrite it.

This couldn’t possibly be any more surreal or preposterous.

I’m not a constitutional lawyer so perhaps someone who is more versed in these matters can tell me if Boehner’s lawsuit can be thrown out of court based on a lack of injury.

Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson’s (R) lawsuit aimed at preventing congressional staffers from receiving Obamacare subsidies was recently thrown out of court because neither he or his staff were “injured” by the law.

In this case, John Boehner is openly admitting that he and his colleagues agree with the president’s actions.

Where’s the injury?

Not to let it go unmentioned — Boehner pulled a dog-whistle out of right field in the opening paragraphs of his op-ep and implied that President Obama is a welfare president.

I believe the president’s actions in a number of areas — including job-destroying energy regulations, releasing the “Taliban 5″ from Guantanamo without notice and waiving the work requirements in welfare — exceed his constitutional authority.

In addition to being a dog-whistle, this is misleading at best and a lie at worst.

The president did not waive work requirements. States can waive requirements as they see fit based on their own experiences and observations.

You know, states’ right. Remember states’ rights?

It has been at least a year (if not two) since the last time congressional Republicans crowed about work requirements so I see this as an intentional dog-whistle dredged up just to attack the president’s character and motivations.

Posted in Epic Fail | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Nice Things and Why We Can’t Have Them

Although the United States was the world’s biggest polluter until recent years when China overtook us, both candidates running for West Virginia’s 2nd Congressional District seat insist reversing climate change is “not our problem.”

It’s not our problem,” Casey [D] reportedly said, adding that it was an international issue. “These other people think we’ve got a global problem, let’s see them step up.”

According to the Associated Press, Mooney [R] echoed Casey, saying “there’s no EPA in China” to ensure the country is limiting its greenhouse gas emissions. On the contrary, China has a Ministry of Environmental Protection that works to limit emissions.

There will come a time when the rest of the world, including China, has moved beyond fossil fuels and American politicians will still be pandering to special interests.

Last month the Chinese government announced that it will place a cap on C02 emissions beginning in 2016.

If you are a Democratic voter or someone who cares about the environment in West Virginia, Casey is still the better option because while he may be bucking responsibility and pandering for votes in a Big Coal state, Mooney wants to go further and defund the EPA.

Posted in Environment | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Latest Embarrassment

Someone’s going rogue. Again.

via TPM

“Tired of media filters? Well, so am I,” the former Republican vice presidential candidate wrote in an announcement on her Facebook page. “So, let’s go rogue together and launch our own member-supported channel! This will be OUR channel, for you and for me, and we’ll all get to call it like it is.”

If you’re tired of the lamestream media filters, I have good news for you! For the low price of $100 per year (more than Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime) you can now have pure, unfiltered stupidity transmitted directly onto your Real American retinas 24 hours a day.

Nope

Posted in Sarah Palin, Stupid Party, Super Stupid | Tagged | 10 Comments

The Bubble Genius Bob & Chez Show 7/24/14

bcs_nyatinhoo

RELM_buttonThe Gospel of Bidondi: No Show Next Week, Vacation Time; Refueling the Outrage Tank; John Boehner is Confused and Confusing; Obama and the Border Crisis; Bill O’Reilly’s Berlin Wall; The Militia and Operation Normandy; The Rasmussen Conspiracy Theory Poll; Dan Bidondi Explains the Crisis in Gaza; and more. Brought to you by Bubble Genius, the BobCesca.com Amazon Link and The Bowen Law Group.

There’s more political banter in the Bob & Chez Show After Party. If you’re not a member, subscribe already. Only $6/month, cancel any time.

NEW! Download individual After Party podcasts for $2 each via our Band Camp page.

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Bubble Genius

Posted in Bob and Chez Show | 5 Comments

Patriots

PatriotKents

Artist – David Horsey

In other news, Paul Ryan (R-WI) said today that he will vote in favor of suing President Obama and it’s the Senate’s fault. Huh?

Meanwhile, Curt Clawson (R-FL) demonstrated today that he is an unprecedented idiot.

Posted in Comedy, Immigration | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Colbert Celebrates the Alleged Death of Obamacare Again

Colbert tackles True Blood’s mockery of Senator Ted Cruz and Republicans, the DC Circuit’s nonsensical ruling on Obamacare, and Fox News accuracy.

As constitutional originalists, all conservatives believe when you make a typo you have to stick with it. I mean why else would anyone name their child Reince Priebus?

Posted in Comedy, Stephen Colbert | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment