Paul Ryan’s Conspiracy Theory

From the Derpartment of “you can’t make this shit up.”

Tax-cut magician Paul Ryan is accusing the Joint Chiefs of Staff of being dishonest in their budget request, and the reason is –wait for it– they’re requesting less spending than expected!

Under normal circumstances you would assume that less spending would be music to the ears of a spending-obsessed man like Paul Ryan, but not in this case. In this case, an agreement between the Joint Chiefs and President Obama, wherein they agree to less spending, must be some kind of conspiracy.

House Budget Chairman Paul Ryan, R-Wis., claimed Thursday that senior U.S. military officials and commanders were being dishonest in their budget requests to Congress.

“We don’t believe the generals are giving us their true budget,” Ryan said at the National Journal Live Budget Policy summit, adding, “I think there’s a lot of budget smoke and mirrors in the Pentagon’s budget.” […]

In his FY2013 budget, Ryan proposed dismantling the automatic sequestration of defense spending, replacing those cuts with unspecified savings from mandatory programs.

It gets better.

The spending levels being proposed by the Pentagon are the same levels previously agreed to, by both parties, under the Budget Control Act (the debt-ceiling deal).

Now that the Republicans have officially abandoned the debt-ceiling framework and have, once again, voted to pass Paul Ryan’s Medicare-killing budget along party lines, they’re pretending that automatically-triggered spending cuts at the Pentagon were never agreed to, even though they were.

By the way, I hear accusing your most senior commanders of lying and producing fraudulent budget requests is a great way to “support the troops.”

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  • i_a_c

    For the last 11 years we’ve heard that we need to give the generals and the Pentagon everything they ask for, no questions asked. Now that there’s a proposal Republicans disagree with, all of a sudden it’s some kind of diabolical Obama plot.

    I believe that the president’s budget by virtue of the fact that when he released his budget number of about $500 billion, the number was announced at the same time they announced the beginning of their strategy review of the Pentagon’s budget.

    http://thinkprogress.org/security/2012/03/29/454701/ryan-generals-lying-budget/

    Fucking hypocrites.

  • Lisa Michele

    Why won’t Paul Ryan go Galt and spare us his ever increasing craziness?

  • incredulous72

    That man is an IDIOT.

  • Brutlyhonest

    First of all, of course the pentagon budget is smoke and mirrors; you asshats in congress force it to be that way FFS. That said, if any Democrat – prominent or not – accused any military of lying the shit would hit the fan. The non-stop budgeting crap drove me crazy – it’s a big reason I quit.

    I truly hope this kind of asshattery will finally open the eyes of more military people. I tired for years to explain that pro-defense industry is not the same as pro-military.

  • mrbrink

    Paul Ryan and his scuzzy breed of constipated dead-end GOP pukes have no sense of irony. If a democrat was up there accusing the military of lying while we’re mired in foreign conflict, they’d be summarily marginalized and dispatched to MSM no man’s land.

    But not Paul Ryan. He’s up there in primetime HD butchering the fundamentals of Medicare and the safety net with the poker-face gall to refer to the leftovers as “Medicare.” A “budget” with so few details, other than an ideological mission statement that reads: We’re evicting the elderly and the poor from their lifeline to appease the spirit of scammer-greed. We will enrich the prize pigs of war and pollution. We will reward further the takers of our national wealth. We will empower the avowed enemies of democracy and champion economic inequality at the expense of the exploited victims of brute, death panel capitalism.

    “Smoke and mirrors.” Hilarious. What a two-bit fucking hack. The bar is so low over there in Wingnuttia anyone who can write in complete sentences is a wordsmith.

    But the “tax cut magician” complaining about smoke and mirrors is a shattered glass house beyond repair.

    In my America, Paul Ryan would be in a shitty third world prison built especially for his brand of reckless endangerment, fraudulent claims, and treasonous acts against the American people. He’s a traitor to the General welfare and domestic tranquility who should already be marginalized and obsolete, since it is the Democratic party which has been stuck managing conservative republican “budgets” and three decades of debt obligations for going on four years now, just trying to limit the damage that these national landmark sadists have been instituting in their 30 year-long criminal misappropriation of America’s integrity capital. A thankless job. But after they left the country in a ditch and walked away smirking in 2009, that should have been the end of that corporate reign of terror. But for some strange reason we still allow them free air and a foothold in the national dialog. Money has a mouthpiece well beyond its worth.

    In the bizarro-America that does exist, Ryan is given the benefit of the doubt. He’s an expert numbers man. Someone with more budget integrity than credible mainstream economists who all but laugh at his remedial understanding of economics, humanity, and the proper role of government.

    Ryan’s budget has less integrity than a lemonade stand fresh out of lemons, but there he is, kicking over the stands of his competition and calling it a remarkable achievement for free market principles.

    • muselet

      Bravo. One nit to pick, though:

      The bar is so low over there in Wingnuttia anyone who can write in complete sentences is a wordsmith.

      Two words: Jonah Goldberg. He’s lucky to manage complete words.

      –alopecia

      • mrbrink

        Ah, ha!

        revised forthwith!

        The bar is so low over there in Wingnuttia anyone who can write incomplete sentences is a wordsmith.

        The bar is so low over there in Wingnuttia, they’re begging another Bush to run for president.

        The bar is so low over there in Wingnuttia, they’ve been pawning their constitutions for corporate hand jobs.

        The bar is so low over there in Wingnuttia, they’re mugging old ladies and children to pay off their debts.

    • Brutlyhonest

      He ran out of lemons, pissed in the pitcher, and is selling it as lemonade! Even better: the faux nation true believers are buying it and saying it’s the best lemonade ever.