Engineered for Battle

This is unintentionally hilarious.

There’s a new entrant in the burgeoning concealed-weapon fashion industry. American Tactical Apparel, out of Houston, Texas, makes clothing for “professional door kickers, special responders, and everyday superheroes.”

The brainchild of Brian Hoffner, a long-time Houston police officer and self-described “kind of a renaissance man,” ATA offers Demin pants, khaki pants, and khaki shorts, all made with zippers for easy access to the company’s custom covert thigh holster.

“There is NO BETTER WAY to secretly carry your pistol and equipment,” the company says on its website. “These pants are engineered for battle, and for everyday operating. For warriors, by warriors.”

Garments “engineered for battle” are typically worn by trained service-members operating in places like Afghanistan, not by soccer-dads with tiny penises operating in the frozen food aisle.

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  • Ipecac

    The comments under the article on the American Tactical Apparel site are hilarious!

  • Madam1

    “Garments “engineered for battle” are typically worn by trained service-members operating in places like Afghanistan, not by soccer-dads with tiny penises operating in the frozen food aisle.”
    Classic line and so well put. What in the hell is going on with gun people?

  • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

    ny soccer-dads with tiny penises

    I couldn’t have said it better myself!

  • muselet

    Three thoughts:

    1) The video makes me think the whole thing’s an elaborate joke (watch and try not to laugh, I dare you).

    2) How many of those “everyday superheroes” wearing those butt-ugly pants are going to shoot themselves in the leg (although it could be worse)?

    3) Seriously, who describes himself as “kind of a renaissance man”?

    –alopecia

  • http://profiles.google.com/jadopine Jim Oliver

    /sarcasm/brain damage/paranoia/

    Hey, this is America in 2012 – you never know when a soccer dad will have to jam, so it’s only appropriate that we all wear these tactical operating pants, so we can jam whenever and wherever we happen to be.

    That frozen food aisle is just like Fallujah, my friend.

    And the pants are zippered so Obama can’t pickpocket your pistol. Cause you KNOW he’s just itching to do that…