Men's Fashion for Small Penises

Posted on May 15, 2012 at 1:31 pm by Bob Cesca

Possibly from the same microphallus sufferers who brought us the concealed carry hoodie, comes the concealed carry Dad jeans.

No, that’s not a joke. Retail: $149. It’s a holster that’s built into a pair of shitty pleated blue jeans. I assume the zippered compartment is a convenient place to stow your sense of pride and self-esteem.

Seriously, this is ridiculous:

“There is NO BETTER WAY to secretly carry your pistol and equipment,” the company says on its website. “These pants are engineered for battle, and for everyday operating. For warriors, by warriors.”

Battle? With what? Impotence?

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  • LK3

    “I assume the zippered compartment is a convenient place to stow your sense of pride and self-esteem.” Thanks for the laugh Bob…

  • JMAshby

    We may have said basically the same things, but I like your version better.

    “microphallus sufferers”

    bwahaha

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Norris/1597765442 Michael Norris

    The perp would be kicking your ass by the time you got that gun unraveled from the zippered compartment. Someone in Mississippi is thinking, “Wow, what a great idea those are!” They are also wondering “What does ‘microphallus’ mean?”

  • margietalks

    I always say “The bigger the toys, the smaller the penis” – same here, except this is just stupid. The whole gun culture is dumber than a box of rocks. I don’t know that I am anti guns, I am just anti people being stupid. I’ve lived for 58 years, part of that time as a kid in the Pisgah National Forest, with bears, bobcats and poisonous snake, never even thought of having a gun ( though I was a kid). Then I’ve worked in a seedy part of Indianapolis, never even thought of carrying a gun. To me, carrying a gun is creating a weird vibe that might actually bring on the violence… example – the Trayvon Martin case where some zealot got a little over zealous with a gun! We need to relax and put that stuff away!

  • http://profiles.google.com/jadopine Jim Oliver

    When you are a proud member of the NRA, every day is a battle.

    The battle with reason, the battle with common sense, the battle with historical precedent, the battle with your own propensity toward clumsiness which points toward self-injury, and finally the battle with your own sense of self-worthlessness which leads you to overcompensate and hope that no one notices that you are hopelessly paranoid and have such low self-esteem that you need to carry your wonderful, wonderful gun with you everywhere, even to the supermarket.

    Cause warriors gotta be prepared. That there is a boy scout motto.