Fox News Channel's 'The Five' Attacked Another Kid

My Thursday column is a no-holds-barred riff on “The Five”…

When the programming wizards at Fox News Channel devised “The Five” it was kind of a no-brainer.

And by the way, I think “no-brainer” is actually an employment qualification at the network. The concept for The Five was simple: create a Hannity/Beck/O’Reilly chimera, multiply it times five and squeeze it through the FNC Play-dough factory and SQUISH! A show.

It makes perfect sense.

If one host, like Hannity or Beck or whoever, is a huge success, why not amplify the nearsighted simplistic hackery of those doofs times five? Perhaps it’d be, you know, five times as successful. Then call the show “The Five” because they’re are five people! Five! How many people? This many! (Holds out five fingers like a toddler.) Continue reading here…

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  • http://twitter.com/Zirgar Zirgar

    It’s like watching some pseudo-intellectuals at a frat boy kegger. I half expected any one of the guys at any point to stop what they were doing in order to fist pump and shout, “Go (fill in your college sports team name here)!!! And then try to grope one of the female hosts.

  • i_a_c

    I think there may be some bad HTML on this post. The italics are bleeding over to everything.

  • chris castle

    Great post Bob! I was also enlightened as a teenager, when I started to learn stuff. Conservatives hate evolution, in all its forms!!!

    • Brutlyhonest

      I know, right? As a teen, I was instructed to stop asking so many questions at Sunday School or to please stop coming and disrupting!

  • http://twitter.com/bubblegenius Bubble Genius

    Phew. I was wondering why I was suddenly noticing italics. I thought it was the weed.

    • Staci Bass

      You’ve got weed that makes you see letters in italics – DAMN. LOL