Where’s The Medical Records?

Mitt Romney’s tax returns are off-limits, but Tea Party Nation President Judson Phillips would like for President Obama to prove that he’s not a gay crackhead.

Really.

Tea Party Nation President Judson Phillips has come to Mitt Romney’s defense in his refusal to release his tax returns. In an email to members of the Tennessee-based corporation on Thursday night, Phillips wrote, “There are a lot of records that Americans should want to see from Barack Obama.”

Phillips demanded that Obama release his Occidental College records to make sure the president was not on a foreign scholarship, as well as his medical records, which Phillips suspects contain proof that Obama has smoked crack cocaine and had anal sex in the 90s.

Not that being gay or smoking crack once upon a time two decades ago would be relevant anyway, because it sure as hell wasn’t for George W. Bush, but it’s quite revealing that the Tea Party believes the president’s bedroom life is more important than Mitt Romney’s embodiment of everything that’s wrong with the status quo.

Romney has employed teams of accountants, lawyers, and professional, suited scam artists to ensure that America is denied every single penny possible using every trick, every loophole, and every single exception the system allows. And he paid for those accountants, lawyers, and scam artists with money he earned bankrupting companies, screwing people out of their pensions, and sending jobs overseas.

No stone has been left un-turned in Mitt Romney’s quest to abuse the system. Highly-decorated economic experts can’t even identify half the stones, nor will anyone be able to unless Romney releases his labyrinthine tax returns.

And the Tea Party calls this patriotism.

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  • villemar

    Where is the proof that Judson Phillip did not molest children, desecrate corpses to skullfuck them, and keep a bestiality barn?

    • Nefercat

      He hasn’t denied any of these things!

      • villemar

        Oh and that’s just the sex stuff. Not to mention the serial killing, crack & PCP labs, Hitler shrines, child abductions for human sacrifices; links to Bin Laden, Timothy McVeigh, and Carlos the Jackal; etc. etc. None of these allegations have been disproven.

  • http://twitter.com/bubblegenius Bubble Genius

    !!!! Anal sex ??? !!! Where do these yahoos get this stuff from?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Varian-Daly/672156773 Michael Varian Daly

      Their anus?

    • JMAshby

      They’re the claims of a fraudster that originally surfaced during the 2008 campaign.

    • Lazarus Durden

      Liberals. They invented it! Drudge said so!

    • nathkatun7

      As the saying goes: It takes a thief to know another thief. Judson Phillip may have first hand personal experience with anal sex. Come think of it he may also be intimately knowledgeable about using cocaine ; may be not crack cocaine but at least the more prestigious powder cocaine.

  • Victor_the_Crab

    Lol! What a desperate, toadying turd Judson Phillip is. No one with a brain should take the Tea Party seriously with idiots like that.

  • theronware

    Judson Phillips, another example of an inbred cretin who simply cannot stand the fact that a black man is our President.

  • muselet

    Judson Phillips really needs to go back on his meds.

    –alopecia

    • Victor_the_Crab

      But would that make much of a difference?

      • muselet

        Good point.

        –alopecia