2 Million Free Pizzas

If you’re someone who has ever ordered from Papa John’s Pizza you’re probably familiar with the frequency at which they bombard your email inbox with advertisements for cheap pizza, buy-one-get-one-free offers, and flash promotional deals that severely undercut the competition’s prices.

And if you’re someone who has even glanced at a television within the past 4 months, you’re probably also familiar with this.

If Papa John’s Pizza can afford to give away free pizzas with such reckless abandon, why do they need to cut back hours just to get around covering their employee’s healthcare?

Personally I haven’t ordered from Papa John’s since CEO John Schnatter originally complained earlier this year that he would have to raise prices by 14 cents per pie to cover the increased cost, and I’m embarrassed that I ever did.

John Schnatter was a high profile fundraiser for Mitt Romney during the 2012 election.

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  • zirgar

    I just vomited out of my butt.

    • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

      Thanks for the visual!

    • 1933john

      In Japan this type of body function is call “Express”.

  • M312

    People who enjoy Papa Johns have never eaten pizza before.

    • BuffaloBuckeye

      My parents ordered a PPJ pizza a year ago and couldn’t finish it. Far and away the worst pizza they’d ever ordered. In keeping with Schnatter’s management approach.

      • M312

        I live in Chicago and it disgusts me to say they just opened a new shop down my street. Anyone who orders a PJ pie in this city deserves to be tazed.

        • Ned F

          Yeah, same here in suburban Philadelphia. We have an indy pizza place on every block, and the worst is miles better than the chains.

        • Victor_the_Crab

          With Chicago style deep dish pizza and South Side thin crust pizza, why the fuck would ANY pizza chain want to open up in a city like Chicago? Or New York for that matter?

  • http://twitter.com/GodIsDead Gern Blandston

    What kills me is that the fucker cut employee hours IMMEDIATELY after the election. There’s simply no rational, fiscally-based explanation for this. Even if Romney had won the election, Obamacare would STILL have been the law of the land. It would have taken MONTHS, if not YEARS to unwind and repeal it, starting with DAY ONE of the Romney presidency. Unless, of course, you want to pretend that the GOP also would have won majorities in the House and Senate, so that they could literally undo the laws in a few days. But pretending all of that completely ignores all of the signs that such an eventuality was likely, which is to say, NO SIGNS AT ALL THAT THIS WAS EVER A POSSIBILITY. Oh, unless you count yard signs, because those are apparently important. Or something.

    It’s logical, therefore, to assume that Schnatter had planned to cut employee hours REGARDLESS of who won the election, since Obamacare would theoretically have been bleeding him dry anyway, all the way through a protracted fight in the House and Senate to repeal it. I wonder if anyone has asked him this question, or ever will. Probably not.

    We boycotted Papa John’s pizza 15 years ago because it’s shitty, shitty pizza, and we decided to try to always eat non-chain restaurants as often as possible. I’m so glad we did now. I’m so embarrassed that I paid even a single dime into that assclown’s funding of the GOP .

    • Brutlyhonest

      Indeed. This has nothing to do with business. He, and the others like him, are throwing public tantrums because they didn’t get their way. Funniest part of this to me is that “Obamacare” is based on a wingnut plan.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000098740588 Jeremy Grunloh

        *Part* of it. And only *one* part.

    • Ned F

      I know, right? It’s total take my ball and go home BS posturing. The employer requirement is two years away (I think).

    • D_C_Wilson

      But . . . But . . . But Romney promised that he would make Obamacare disappear on day one of his administration.

      Are you saying that was somehow unrealistic?
      /snark.

  • Draxiar

    I’m waiting for the Hermain Cain and John Shnatter love child called: GodPapa’s Pizza. Their Pizza of the Day costs $9.99 and comes with a side of cheesy lies.

    • Victor_the_Crab

      I still wouldn’t eat there.

    • muselet

      You give me an excuse to link again to this Paul Constant article from The Stranger, June 28, 2011.

      –alopecia

      • mrbrink

        The description of the food is the best part!

        This: “It’s flabby and pale and tastes like a few drops of artificial baked-bread flavoring were added to fifty thousand gallons of the stuff, long ago in a factory far away.”

        That’s brilliant and describes 90% of the food in America.

        And this: “Worst of all is the chicken pizza with “white sauce,” which my friend says tastes “like garlic took a shit.”

        It hurts.

        • muselet

          I checked and there are no Godfather’s Pizza locations within 30 60 miles of me.

          I’m so even more relieved.

          –alopecia

  • rob black

    Me too.
    The small town I live in had a Pizza Hut and Dominoes. Both had become so horrible (the Pizza Hut, in addition to taking an hour to deliver, once poisoned me)….and the Dominoes was…well Dominoes. Box tasted better than crust..was a real thing.
    So I was actually glad when Papa Johns came. I remembered their pizza from years ago as being not too horrible…and I like their garlic butter and pepperoncini…
    Anyway, after seeing Mr. Papa John hosting Mittens at his palatial country estate……I was pissed…….and then when he did his little health care rant…that was it.
    Fortunately, I had just enough points to get one last free pizza…and it was nasty.
    As an aside, I have since ordered two pizzas, one from Pizza Hut..and one from Dominoes. As it turns out, the Papa Johns coming in to the market, forced both competitors to up their game!
    I ordered the new pan pizza from Dominoes..and the crust was actually good….but I have since learned that Dominoes was sold to Bain Capitol by its previous anti-choice founder and owner….they are out.
    I guess it’s Pizza Hut for me. This last time, they delivered in 15 minutes, managed to not poison me…and although owned by a huge multinational conglomerate…..beat the hell out of the alternatives.
    I really miss living in large cities that usually have their own local pizzerias with much better quality. ….and having Chinese food delivered…really miss that…Oh and I miss Old Chicago and Chicago Uno…..”The Chicago Seven Calzone”..yumm
    …but I mean business with this stuff. To those who think it is meaningless gesture, think of what would happen if all of the 62 million people who voted for Obama, decided to quit Papa Johns…..
    “Better voters mean better pizza….and a healthier workforce…”
    Screw You Papa

    P.S.
    This is what the right does to businesses they disagree with….
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/11/starbucks-gay-marriage-support-nom-condemns_n_2113930.html

    • JMAshby

      I sympathize. Where I used to live the only pizza available were the big three national chains, but where I live now there are at least a dozen locally owned or small-chain locations for pizza.

      I have virtually no reason to order from a big national chain anymore, but many people aren’t as fortunate.

    • Draxiar

      Growing up in the southern part Massachusetts (now the proud state of Elizabeth Warren…YAY!)…known here as “The South Shore” we only ever had local pizza joints.

      The closest thing we had to a national chain was Papa Gino’s…which I think is more of a New England chain. It wasn’t until many, many years later (and even still only in city areas) are there Dominoes, Papa John’s, or Pizza Hut. While they do okay for business I’m sure they in no way outshine or take precedence over the local shops. Most people here prefer their neighborhood Pizza and Sub shops.

    • bphoon

      I really doubt Starbucks is sweating this. NOM, to my knowledge, is taken seriously only by its own members.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=663669914 Sean Richardson

    I try not to ascribe bitterness and maliciousness to this decision. It’s quite possible — likely, even — that it’s the result of simple terrible, incredibly short-sighted management. The sort of stupidity which should quickly result in the shareholders demanding a resignation.

    Because, basically, what this means is that he was leading his company, ignoring the existing law, and assuming that Romney would be elected over Obama. Over the past few months, there has been an awful lot of evidence for anybody who cares to look objectively that this was unlikely. I would say that clinging to an unlikely future as the only one where your strategy is tenable is corporate mismanagement. Wouldn’t you?

    • i_a_c

      You would, but Wall Street is more about reactionary knee-jerking than rational thought anymore.

  • Victor_the_Crab

    You know what’s even beter? Make your own pizza! I own a pizza stone and wooden spatula, make my own dough and sauce, get what’s inside my refrigerator, put it together and pop it in the oven, and VOILA! You’ve got your own pizza that tastes just like an independent mom and pop pizzaria that’s miles better and cheaper than anything these diaper baby chains like Papa John’s serves. My family says that my homemade pizza is better than anything they’ve ordered.

  • agrazingmoose

    Eat local and buy from local hardware stores. The CEO of Home Depot is no better.

    • atlavely

      Yeah, but HD and Lowes put all our neighborhood hardware stores out of business. Walmart on a slightly reduced scale, but only slightly.

  • excitablerooster

    Thankfully I live in a city that has multitudes of great pizza options. I would never dream of eating that crap even before I get to any legitimate political reasons for not doing so. Fuck that douche and his fake pizza.

  • D_C_Wilson

    Just down the street from my home is a locally owned pizzeria that serves excellent pizza.

    Fuck Pappa Johns
    Fuck Pizza Hut
    Fuck Dominoes

    http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/417589/august-08-2012/obamacare-s-effect-on-pizza-costs?xrs=share_copy