Eat Less Beef

My Tuesday column explains how to win a free car (sort of)…

Today I’m going to teach you how you can get a free Prius, and you barely have to do anything to get it.

Until recently, I owned a Prius and at the risk of sounding like The King Of All Liberals I don’t mind saying that’s it’s easily the finest car I’ve ever driven. As traveling goes, there’s nothing quite as satisfying as driving 500 miles, roughly 20 percent of the distance from New York to Los Angeles, on a single 11-gallon tank of gas, while also knowing that you’ve generated nearly zero emissions. Plus, the LED screen on the dash that displays your real time miles-per-gallon via two different visual representations almost becomes like a video game that intuitively re-teaches you how to drive, by letting you know when you should ease up on the gas pedal thus using more of the electric motor and less of the gas engine (the Prius doesn’t need to be plugged in — it charges its battery using the gas engine and the kinetic energy from braking and coasting of the car).

It’s a fantastic vehicle, and I wish I could report that the Great Recession didn’t hammer my personal finances forcing me to give up my Prius and to settle for a higher emissions, less fuel efficient car. But it did. Thanks, Great Recession.

But I figured out a solution for achieving the environmental benefits of the Prius without actually owning one. Ready? [continue reading...]

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  • zirgar

    “And you can still shove burgers and steaks into your face if you want to.” How dare you mock people who have eating problems. Missing the mouth with one’s food is a real issue in America. 1 in 8 people will hit their face at least three times before finally getting the food into their mouths, and while this is great for the napkin industry (Big Napkin!), imagine the shame and horror at missing some ground beef or ketchup on your face and going back to work only to be ridiculed and called hurtful names. What, it’s not bad enough people shove food in their faces, that they need people getting all up in those faces about it, too? Shameful, Bob. Shameful. And messy. Yuck.

  • bphoon

    All I’m suggesting here is a path towards achieving a significant reduction in our carbon footprint by going vegetarian for one out of every fifth meat meal.

    Hell, I’ve been more or less doing that for several years due to the expense of beef, mostly, but all meat generally, and didn’t even know that I was having that sort of impact on the environment.

    Besides, if I bought a Prius I’d have to ride my motorcycle less. Now, offer me a free Road Glide and we’ll talk…

  • drsquid

    Four Quarter pounders is a bit less than 2.2 pounds of beef. Now two fukn Quadr0 pounders

  • D_C_Wilson

    Eat more bacon!