What Could Go Wrong?

Notorious birther, perpetual embarrassment, and national disgrace Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio has announced plans to post armed members of his “posse” outside schools to protect against the evil-doers.

The latest proposal comes from Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the self-described toughest sheriff in America, who wants to station his “posse” of volunteers outside of about 50 schools in Maricopa County within a week, according to KPNX, a local NBC station.

“Everybody else is talking about what their ideas are. They want new laws. This is immediate. I don’t need a new law to send out my posse,” he told NBC affiliate, KPNX, on Thursday. “I feel like we should do whatever we can outside of the schools.”

An armed “posse” (his word) of volunteers stationed outside every school.

What could go wrong?

They could misidentify a threat. They may accidentally discharge their weapons. Students may feel even more imprisoned than they already do. And given that this “posse” swears allegiance to a jackbooted racist who palls around with neo-nazis, some of them may engage in racial profiling and intimidation.

The good news is that state law currently prohibits guns on school grounds, however Arizona lawmakers are already hard at work drafting legislation to strike this shred of common sense from the books. Because Arizona has a fever, and the only cure is more guns.

In related news, here’s a detailed account of Arpaio graciously accepting an award from the Sons of Confederate Veterans (SCV). As you may recall, the Mississippi Division of SCV were proponents of issuing state license plates to honor Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forest. Governor Haley Barbour was forced to deny their request last year.

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  • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

    Can you imagine how scared the Mexican kids are going to be? Especially if their parents are illegal?

    • D_C_Wilson

      Hell, you think his “posse” are going to bother asking their parents’ immigration status?

  • muselet

    Great idea: have a bunch of overweight, undersmart, self-important, middle-aged yahoos with guns loiter outside schools.

    And we know Joe Arpayaso only accepts the crème de la crème to be a member of one of his posses. Remember what a terrific job his Cold Case Posse did, investigating Barack Obama’s birth certificate?

    If one of these bozos doesn’t shoot an innocent within the first month, I’ll be shocked.

    –alopecia

    • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

      Not only that, the majority of them are white, retired men–over 65 years old. Doesn’t inspire much confidence in me.

      • muselet

        Time to save up for that kiddy-sized body armor.

        –alopecia

        • stacib23

          Have you seen the bullet-proof backpacks? Body armor can’t be far away.

          • muselet

            Bob had a post on those last week.

            Gee, there have been some shootings at schools. I know, let’s manufacture bulletproof backpacks for the kids. Who thinks like that?

            –alopecia

  • trgahan

    So let me get this straight… the pro-gun solution is putting at 50 schools one armed amateur. Even in the best circumstances you’re looking at a 50/50 chance on who wins a gun battle between that “guard” and an attacker…and what better thing for an AMERICAN elementary school than a gun battle between two amateurs with body armor and high velocity rounds.

    Anyway, so when the first amateur gets gunned down, naturally the solution is TWO amateurs with guns. And so on and so on. So when do we start random check points staffed by unaccountable militia, sorry I meant posses, who can randomly stop and check anyone deemed suspicious? So many other first world nations do this stuff too, right?

    Adding, I would love to see the demographics of the 50 schools Joe blesses with his posse…I am sure that will tell volumes.

    • stacib23

      Did you see the story today about the guy shooting two policemen in a New Jersey police station? Maybe we should put armed guards – oh

  • KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker

    And we wonder why we don’t get greeted as liberators?
    And we question why nations of the world aren’t falling over themselves for America’s style of democracy when we pitch the idea of bringing it to their shores.
    Maybe they see things that we are blind to? And maybe too many of us are buying into our own bullshit. For pete sake this is a batshit crazy idea.
    Arpaio is insane and should not hold ANY public office, let alone one that involves guns.

  • Nefercat

    “What Could Go Wrong?”

    Well, for starters, which schools? I wondered about this yesterday:

    Every mention of security in schools that I have seen so far evokes images of wanting to protect innocent little tots (however harebrained the plan might be).

    I have yet to see an assessment of armed volunteers/civilians/irrelevant careers in a school full of obnoxious, mouthy, feeling-their-oats, hormonally-addled, pack-mentality teenagers (i.e., average high school). This would *not* end well.

    Okay, Sheriff Arpaio, how many of these volunteers are George Zimmermans? Background checks be damned. What about the psychological screening that would be undergone by prospective police officers, armored car drivers, or law enforcement agents?

    I don’t want your damned posse at any school my loved ones might attend. Would the Oregon clown who “did not break any laws” pass your stupid ass background check?