A Gun Won’t Make Your Penis Larger

My Tuesday column:

There’s a brief scene in Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket in which the new recruits, led by Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, chant in unison, “This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun.” On the words “gun” and “fun” the privates grab their, well, privates, letting the audience know that there’s a Marine-Corp-specific semantic distinction between the words “rifle” and “gun.”

Unfortunately, too many pro-gun American men don’t know the difference and this is a central problem in the process of redefining the purpose and availability of firearms in America. Men, whether intentional or not, tend to confuse their guns for their penises. The bigger the gun/penis, the more masculine they are. Guns have become penis extensions, if not penis substitutes, and the phallic similarities are obvious.

Consequently, our gun culture too often blurs the line between masculinity and firearms, even among people who ought to know better. If you own, hunt, shoot, or generally fetishize firearms, it’s considered to be synonymous with being a tough, virile guy. Likewise, if you’re opposed to guns or, dare I say, afraid of guns, you’re considered girlish or — heaven forbid — gay. [continue reading here]

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  • http://twitter.com/GodIsDead Gern Blandston

    You’re correct, of course, but the fact is that anything PresO says or does is utterly unacceptable to the lunatic right (which, let’s face it, is nearly all of them). If there were suddenly video available of the man bloodily taking down a 94 point buck with an M15, the right would howl “What a pussy, I would have used a shotgun and killed it with a single shot! He has no true appreciation for hunters at all!”

  • GrafZeppelin127

    When I wrote my last gun-related thing on Daily Kos, I got lambasted for merely implying that guns and penises were somehow related, even though the diary was not about that at all.

    Frankly, I’m getting sick of the whole gun “debate.” I can’t deal with the gun-strokers and their paranoid/narcissistic fantasies about “tyranny” and armed insurrection, with all the cherry-picked, out-of-context, often made-up “quotes” from The Founding Fathers™ that have been carefully selected, edited and invented for them by whoever is being paid to convince them of this hypothesis. Neither can I deal with the left-wing hysteria. Everyone seems to be pretending that gun control is about something it’s not, substituting mind-reading, irrational fear and fantasy for logic, reason and actual knowledge.

    Unfortunately, this is where we are. Paranoia, narcissism, and delusions of persecution are the norm. This is how we make our laws and important decisions about public policy. Part of me hopes that someone, or some group, will actually try to use guns to “fight tyranny” in the next few months or so. One of the things that makes debunking the whole “guns-are-for-fighting-tyranny” canard is that neither the “tyranny” nor the “fighting” will ever, ever, ever, EVER actually happen. Fantasies about future events can no more be disproven than proven. So a sick, depraved part of me wants to see this fantasy attempted to be made real, if only to show how absurd it is and find out if there’s really anything to it besides an abstract notion, a feeling that GOP fans get when Democrats win elections.

    • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

      So a sick, depraved part of me wants to see this fantasy attempted to be made real, if only to show how absurd it is and find out if there’s really anything to it besides an abstract notion

      I feel the same way sometimes when I get tired of dealing with paranoid loons. And I usually think, it actually happening and failing and people dying is the only way that they will see, maybe, that their ideas are completely full of crap. I end up telling some gun stroker “to bring it on” as I’m sick of their whining. If you’re living under tyranny, stand up and put up or STFU. I’m so very sick of their hot air delusions.

      • GrafZeppelin127

        “Guns are for fighting tyranny.” So either admit that there’s no tyranny, or start fighting.

        • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

          Exactly, sh*t or get off the pot.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

      Hey, I really enjoyed that diary. Nicely done, man.

      • GrafZeppelin127

        Thanks very much, Bob.

    • MrDHalen

      There are plenty of examples of people going up against our government while being heavily armed and losing. Small: BofA robbers in LA, Medium: Waco, TX, Large: Saddam in Iraq, but the “tyranny fighters” just choose to ignore them. If your name isn’t China or Russia, you really don’t stand a chance. Resistance is futile! :-)

      America changes direction very slowly, you’d think 20 dead 5 year old’s would do it, but it looks like its going to take something larger. 2,000+ dead seems to be when we snap into action. I get those figures from Pearl Harbor & 9-11.

  • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

    I agree guns are definitely representative of the penis. The penis is only important insofar as it is representative of self-esteem (what is it for women? Our bodies in general? We’re used to not ever living up to an ideal, welcome to our world).

    The more important question is, why are American males so insecure? I’ve heard many on the right say it’s the fault of feminism but that’s BS. I don’t believe that at all. You can’t keep a sister down just because men can’t get it up….ummm….I mean get intimidated by liberated women.But again, I don’t believe that is the real cause.

    I think that there has been a purposeful conservative campaign to portray the white American male as a victim of society over the last 30+ years. And in light of the very real demographic change going on at the same time, it has fed right into that very manipulative argument. And the final ingredient has to be the decline in earning power of the average male. The stats are very clear that the gap between the rich and everyone else is growing and has been for quite a while. In addition, what he makes buys less and less. In the U.S. economic success is so key to our psychological character and particularly with men, the traditional head of households. So as they earn less, have less job stability, and can provide less for their families it directly affects their self esteem. And like the demographic change, it feeds right into the Conservative agenda.

    What is essentially a larger, societal shift is being taken personal by a large proportion of white male America. In one sense you can’t blame them–how many people can look at historical trends and forces they live in and realize that they are caught up in something larger than themselves. Most people don’t see past the end of their nose. Anyway, this has led to a decline in their self-esteem and their desire for an explanation, conveniently provided by the right, and has led to overt symbols of power like guns, again conveniently provided by the right.

    One last thought, whenever I see one of those trucks jacked up real high, beyond what is really necessary for off-roading, the first thing that pops into my head is “small penis”.

  • MrDHalen

    Bob,

    I think the President was just being honest when asked a direct question about shooting skeet at Camp David. If you asked me if I fired a gun before, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t. Just because I have fired a gun, doesn’t mean I’m trying to relate to gun owners, it just means “yes”, I have done it before.

    Otherwise, great article.