The “Show Me Your Papers Before You Go Potty” Bill

Arizona Republicans are considering a bill that would punish you with six months in jail if you use the wrong — or more specifically what they say is wrong — bathroom.

PHOENIX (AP) — A prominent Republican lawmaker in Arizona wants to link public bathroom use to birth certificates in what civil rights advocates are calling the nation’s toughest anti-transgender measure.

The bill would require people to use public restrooms, dressing rooms or locker rooms associated with the sex listed on their birth certificate or face six months in jail. [...]

With more people identifying as transgender, state and local governments are increasingly banning gender-identity discrimination to ward off legal battles, but opponents and proponents alike complain the laws don’t explicitly demand businesses provide equal access for transgender people, creating confusion over how governments, restaurants, clothing stores and other establishments must act.

According to the Associated Press, the local Arizona press has dubbed this the “Show Me Your Papers Before You Go Potty” bill, which I couldn’t have come up with myself.

The idea of telling transgender persons that they’re using the wrong bathroom is offensive, and using the power of government to police and punish them for their supposed bathroom trespasses is ridiculous. Shouldn’t we focus resources on real criminals rather than finding new ways to turn innocent citizens who are minding their own business into new criminals?

But, you know, limited government! Small government! Or something. Small enough to fit in the bathroom.

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  • JWheels

    Why don’t Arizona Republicans just tell everyone to register their families names and line up to receive their yellow stars and pink triangles? They might as well because they’re only a couple small steps away from that at this point. Edited: Actually you know what? They are already there.

  • DowneastDiva

    Is this a joke?

  • Zen Diesel

    Gotta Love the Small Government Republicans……..what will they come up with next…lol

  • Christopher Foxx

    But isn’t telling me which bathroom I have to use an, gasp!, infringement on my freedom?

  • Al Iriberri

    Of course if you’re carrying a gun you can pretty much choose whatever the hell bathroom you want.

  • Michael Norris

    We are rapidly becoming a third-world country and Arizona politicians are worried about which bathroom someone uses. Jeezus…have they lost their minds down there?

    • nicole

      “Jeezus…have they lost their minds down there?”

      Hell, they never had minds to begin with. They’re fucking demons, Michael!

    • Victor_the_Crab

      Two words: Joe Arpaio.

      Two more words: Jan Brewer.

    • IrishGrrrl

      Indubitably, yes.

  • nicole

    Oh for Christ’s sake, are they fucking demented??? THIS is what they care about?

    bloody STUPID!!

  • mrbrink

    Solving problems that don’t exist. Duck and cover! The transgenders are taking over our bathrooms! Pee your pants! Shit your britches! Man those glory holes!

  • Victor_the_Crab

    So much for LIBERTY! and FREEDOM!

  • muselet

    There aren’t enough fuck yous in the universe.


    • IrishGrrrl

      You should drive over to AZ and join me at the State Capital so we can tell them all the ways they can and should fuck themselves. ;)

  • IrishGrrrl

    “Small enough to fit in the bathroom.”

    Well they’ve been trying like crazy to legislate our vajayjays and uteri, why would the bathroom come as any surprise? I dare some asshole to challenge anyone in front of me for their birth certificate. Make my day you conservative nut cases.

  • Draxiar

    *rocks back and forth*
    2014…local government…2014….local government…

  • Christopher Foxx

    And, as a simply practical matter, how would this work? Is there going to be someone standing at the door checking that folks use the right bathroom? What if they suspect someone is violating the law? Are they going to keep you standing there, squirming and clenching, while they call city hall in whatever town you were born in to verify your claims?

    Screw it, I’d just piss on their shoes.