President Obama Roasts The Media

President Obama’s remarks last night at the White House Correspondences’ Association Dinner had some great lines and some solemn words for recent tragedies and the media’s handling of them.

But, aside from the Steven Spielberg production of “Obama,” and The President’s bangs, I thought some of the best lines of the night were directed at the press corp, notwithstanding the praise for The Boston Globe:

And of course, the White House press corps is here.  I know CNN has taken some knocks lately, but the fact is I admire their commitment to cover all sides of a story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate[...]

The History Channel is not here.  I guess they were embarrassed about the whole Obama-is-a-devil thing.  (Laughter.)  Of course, that never kept Fox News from showing up.  (Laughter.)  They actually thought the comparison was not fair — to Satan.

There are other new players in the media landscape as well, like super PACs.  Did you know that Sheldon Adelson spent $100 million of his own money last year on negative ads?  You’ve got to really dislike me — (laughter) — to spend that kind of money.  I mean, that’s Oprah money.  (Laughter.)  You could buy an island and call it “Nobama” for that kind of money.  (Laughter.)  Sheldon would have been better off offering me $100 million to drop out of the race.  (Laughter and applause.)  I probably wouldn’t have taken it, but I’d have thought about it.  (Laughter.)  Michelle would have taken it.  (Laughter.)  You think I’m joking?

I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012, but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities.  And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with.  (Laughter.)  Hello?  Think of me as a trial run, you know?  (Laughter.)  See how it goes.  (Laughter.)

I am not giving up.  In fact, I’m taking my charm offensive on the road — a Texas barbeque with Ted Cruz, a Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann.  (Laughter and applause.)

Full transcript and video here:

Click here to view the embedded video.

 

Meanwhile, former almost Vice President of The Free World, Sarah Palin, had some classy remarks from the bunker somewhere in her mind:

Sarah Palin WHCD tweet

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  • KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker

    Oh my, the tundra tart still needs attention.
    Poor thing has to adjust to being an irrelevant embarassment.

  • Nefercat

    Translation from Palinese:

    “How dare you assclowns not invite me!

    My god, an average pack of 7th grade girls would have behaved with more dignity and class.

    If you’re going to give up waiting for a car horn to honk, and run upstairs to fling yourself on your bed and drum your heels and wail that you should have been invited to the prom, then for crying out loud, don’t film your tantrum and throw it up on Youtube for all the word to see, which is what she might as well have done.

    Drunk tweeting is not your friend, Sarah.

  • muselet

    My favorite joke from Barack Obama is the CNN one. My second-favorite: “And then there’s the Easter Egg Roll, which is supposed to be just a nice, fun event with the kids. I go out on the basketball court, took 22 shots — made two of them. That’s right: two hits, 20 misses. The executives at NBC asked, “What’s your secret?”” It’s good to have a president who can tell a joke.

    And I can’t help but smile at Conan O’Brien’s jab at Sideboob Central: “If HuffPost is here, who’s covering ‘Seven Mistakes You’re Making With Bacon’?”

    And Sarah Palin’s just upset because she wasn’t invited this year.

    –alopecia

  • D_C_Wilson

    Sarah Palin once again demonstrates why should have been given the lead in “Mean Girls II,”

  • ninjaf

    Wow…that’s mighty Christian of her!

  • Victor_the_Crab

    What would you know about working your ass off, Sarah Plain and Stupid? You quit your job as Governor of Alaska so you could go get face time on the national stage with as little effort as possible. Your fifteen minutes are long over Palin. Shut up and go away.

  • cowboyinbrla

    Funny how when the Wasilla Wombat wasn’t yesterday’s news, she, and her husband, and her fame-whore daughter were delighted to attend the WHCD.