Silver Bullets

As we all know, Muslims are immune to regular bullets, so a company of dubious purpose in Idaho has devised bullets laced with pork. And when you use it, the terrorists explode like a water balloon filled with blood. Obviously.

via Media Matters

A company in northern Idaho has come up with a culturally sensitive approach. Jihawg Ammo has developed a proprietary system for infusing ballistic paint with pork. The special pork-infused paint is then applied to the bullets of loaded ammunition. The inclusion of pork in the paint makes the bullets haraam, or unclean. Under Islamic law, anyone who comes in contact with any haraam item is then unclean and must engage in a cleansing ritual. No unclean person can be admitted into Paradise. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 72 virgins.

This swine-infused ammunition is reportedly intended to be “a deterrent to would-be terrorists,” which I suppose is more viable than praying the terrorists away, but only slightly.

jihawgbullets

What’s really depressing is I have no doubt there is a market for this in America. Now will someone tell me where can I pre-order?

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  • Ipecac

    So if terrorists got the bullets, couldn’t they just use gloves?

    • ninjaf

      No, they are implying that you shoot a Muslim/terrorist, making them unclean at death and unable to get into paradise.

      • Treading_Water

        And, most of these bullets are going to be bought up by people whose closest exposure to Muslims is that Sikh gentleman who runs the corner convenience store.

      • Ipecac

        Yeah, I thought that at first. but it seemed too stupid. So I went the other way with it, which was possibly even more stupid. :-)

  • muselet

    Jihawg Ammo has developed a proprietary system for infusing ballistic paint with pork.

    I call bullshit. Well, pigshit, technically.

    This is either a bunch of guys having a laugh—whether at Jeff Knox or Muslims is an open question—or a bunch of guys who know they stand to make cubic dollars selling bog-standard ammunition at inflated prices to the know-nothings.

    –alopecia

    • Mr X

      Yep. Some bitter clingers took a break from trolling NSA with ‘metadata Obama calls while smoking crack rock with Reggie Love on 9/12/12′ to make up this joke. And you guys fell for it! LOL!

  • http://phydeauxpseaks.blogspot.com Bob Rutledge

    So it’s kind of a 21st Century Puckle Gun?

    • http://phydeauxpseaks.blogspot.com Bob Rutledge

      (Yes, I just wanted to say Puckle Gun.)

  • Treading_Water

    I know, let’s put biblical verses on the guns so that we can show those damn jihadist Muslim Kenyan, terrists that we know how to put on a religious crusade here in this oh so christian nation.

    Oh wait, we already tried that.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/secret-bible-verses-guns-marines-concerned/story?id=9602030#.Ubuw_VH2CCQ

  • Mr X

    If only you all were half as concerned about the paranoid, delusional, gun-loving because they have small penises IRS and DHS buying AR-15s and 290 million rounds this year, while using only 10 million in training according to testimony to Rep. Jason Chaffetz.

    What’s that you say? Those are insults you use for ‘bitter clingers’ while massive guns and ammo stockpiling by government is good? Well kiss my grits, and here I thought you folks were against all guns, not just those in the hands of private citizens.

    • Victor_the_Crab

      And “Yargle-Bargle” right back at ya, numbnuts.

  • SherryH

    I remember a Tom Clancy novel wherein muslim terrorists attacked a US shopping mall. As one lay dying, the marine who shot him went into a sporting goods store, got a football (pigskin) and forced the terrorist to hold it as he died, terrified knowing that he would not be allowed in paradise.

    Clancy also had a plane flying into the Capitol building, but I guess Condi didn’t read Clancy, so, of course, she couldn’t have foreseen that.