Middle Finger Lickin’ Good

Hundreds of bigots and religious fanatics (Chickens for Jesus!)line up to get itheir hands on some anti-gay chicken at a restaurant in Laguna Niguel. Credit: Don Bartletti / Los Angeles Times

Hundreds of bigots and religious fanatics (Chickens for Jesus!)line up to get their hands on some anti-gay chicken at a restaurant in Laguna Niguel. Credit: Don Bartletti / Los Angeles Times

Turns out bigotry is profitable in America when you have an army of zombies lining up to get their cold, chubby fingers around a bite-sized version of proactive hate speech.

According to Forbes, Chic-fil-A is the country’s most profitable fast food chain bringing in an average of $3.1 million per location. Nobody else tops $3 million. Second on the list was McDonald’s at $2.6 million per store.

You might remember that Dan Cathy, CEO of Chick-fil-A, donates millions to hate groups and has said, among other things, that “you are inviting God’s judgement” if you support Gay marriage. The company has been sued at least twelve times for discriminatory practices and, according to Forbes in 2007, the company is “a cult” whose founders believe that “serving Chicken is God’s work.”

Only the most pure job applicants among us are chosen to do ‘God’s work’ for minimum wage. When Chick-fil-A calls your number, you are now one of the righteous. It’s like the subtle creep of a Hunger Games economy.

This doesn’t bode well for the institution of boycott. Hate sells, and terrible people are buying.

So, when someone says that your dollars and the ‘free market’ will solve the problems of social and economic discrimination, and there’s no need for any of that outdated Civil Rights Act stuff, go ahead and tell them to keep fornicating with those chickens.

This entry was posted in Food, LGBT, Religion, Republican Party, Wingnuts, WTF and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.
  • Victor_the_Crab

    Oh well. God will answer them in the form of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and other health ailments. Won’t they then wish for the dreaded Obamacare?

  • http://www.facebook.com/felonious.grammar Felonious Grammar

    What a small and petty God they worship.

    This is why one of the greatest moments of my childhood was my mother calling me an “atheist bitch” and telling me I could stay home alone on Sunday mornings and do the family laundry (as if that would be punishment), which is far more spiritual than listening to a man bellow that God is just like him and we’re all born of evil.

    It takes a few thousands years of patriarchy and the rule of patriarchal religion for so many men to think they know the mind of a being they believe to have created everything. That’s not even “balls,” it’s some kind of delusional or deceptive stance that is so extreme I still find it hard to believe that so many people fall for it. Guess they want to. For men, it puts them closer to their God, but what the hell do women and children get out of it?

    • muselet

      What a small and petty God they worship.

      I’m occasionally reminded of an exchange from an episode of All in the Family. Archie and Mike are having a spirited theological argument about something or other (I think it was the role of women in society, but I could be wrong) and Archie plays what he thinks is his trump card: God made man in His image. Mike looks at him for a moment and asks in mock incredulity, “You mean God looks like you?” Without skipping a beat, Archie replies, “I ain’t sayin’ you couldn’t tell the two of us apart.”

      The difference between Archie Bunker and Dan Cathy (and every televangelist preaching hellfire and damnation) is that Archie was a harmless fictional character.

      –alopecia

      • 1933john

        And a three thousand dollar silk suit.

        • http://phydeauxpseaks.blogspot.com Bob Rutledge

          Archie Bunker was a three thousand dollar silk suit? ;)

          • muselet

            Pedant.

            –alopecia

          • http://phydeauxpseaks.blogspot.com Bob Rutledge

            Wait.

            Which is it?

            Was he a $3k suit or a pedant?

            so confused now….

          • Bubble Genius

            You misspelled “pendant.”

    • Brutlyhonest

      Like you, I was distraught when the independent baptist church I attended essentially asked me to stop attending because I asked to many questions instead of just believing!

      • http://www.facebook.com/felonious.grammar Felonious Grammar

        I was attending a Southern Baptist church at the time. Though it was far more tame than the prior one, I found it disturbing that mention of Jesus seemed just to be a tic, that the only significant time they spent in the New Testament was in Revelations, and that the rest of the time they were Old Testament Christians full of spite, violent feelings, and toxic tribalism.

        • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

          I felt the same way at the Southern Baptist church that I was forced to go to. The thing that seemed so wrong to me (among many things, of course) was how they used Revelations to frighten people into believing and behaving. As an imaginative child it scared the freaking crap out of me. There was something inherently wrong in how they would say God loves everyone and you’re going to burn in a fiery pit of brimstone in the same breath.. I always used to think, “if he’s so awesome, why does he need fear to make people follow him?”

          • http://www.livingenergy.abmp.com/ KanaW

            “if he’s so awesome, why does he need fear to make people follow him?”

            YES! Thank you.

  • CygnusX1isaHole

    On the side column this post is attributed to Bob Cesca. Above it’s attributed to Mr. Brink.

    Is Mr. Brink a nickname for Bob Cesca?

    If not, this is yet another sloppy error.

    • Norbrook

      It’s written by Mr. Brink, and posted on Cesca’s section of the Daily Banter. The headline to the left just says it’s in Cesca’s section. Clear?

      • CygnusX1isaHole

        The column to the right has a picture of Bob Cesca, his name above in bold print and the title of this post below.

        So while your explanation is clear the layout is not.

        • http://www.politicalruminations.com/ nicole

          And you’re a dick.

        • Nefercat

          I guess somebody better notify the web layout police.

    • JMAshby

      Derp

      • formerlywhatithink

        Herp

  • JMAshby

    I’d say this is equivalent to a right wing think tank buying out tens of thousands of copies of some nutjob’s book, putting it in the best-seller category.

    Except in this case they convinced ordinary people to do the purchasing for them, Suckers.

  • ForsettiJustice

    They love their bigoted, ignorant hatred deep fried dipped in Chosen Ones Sauce.

  • muselet

    Serving chicken is God’s work?

    Is running the deep fryer a religious devotion? Are the condiments at a Chick-fil-A sacramental? Is it heresy for a non-believer to touch a Chick-fil-A product?

    Isn’t it ironic that an image of Jesus has never appeared on a Chick-fil-A bun?

    (I’ll stop now.)

    I’ve never been happier that I don’t like fast food.

    –alopecia

    • formerlywhatithink

      Our Fryer, which art filled with oil,

      Hallowed be thy cause.

      Thy Chicken come.

      Thy fry be done in earth,

      As it is in heaven.

      Give us this day our daily nuggets.

      And forgive us our discrimination,

      As we discrimnate against them that do nothing against us.

      And lead us not into obesity,

      But deliver us from teh gay.

      For thine is the grease,

      The breading, and the breasts,

      For ever and ever.

      Amen.

      • muselet

        Bravo!

        –alopecia

      • http://phydeauxpseaks.blogspot.com Bob Rutledge

        Sweet deep fried Jeebus, that’s perfect!

        I want to break out my old cross-stitch skills and make samplers for each and every Chock-ful-a Hatred outlet.

      • Victor_the_Crab

        The Lard’s Prayer. Brilliant!

    • cleos_mom

      **Is running the deep fryer a religious devotion? Are the condiments at a
      Chick-fil-A sacramental? Is it heresy for a non-believer to touch a
      Chick-fil-A product?**

      People all over the world have (and currently are; human rights abuses take no holidays) literally given up everything, including their lives, for their religious beliefs. In Christianist America that spirit has degenerated to the point that people consider themselves “bold” for heeding Hucksterbee’s announcement of Chik-fil-A Day and standing in line to buy a junk food sandwich. What a comedown.

      • muselet

        American Xtianists read Matthew 10:22 and John 15:18, then look around eagerly for the people who hate them. When they don’t find any, they invent hatreds and offenses because God promised that people would hate them.

        It’s pathetic, really.

        –alopecia

      • http://www.facebook.com/felonious.grammar Felonious Grammar

        What’s really most deeply offensive to me about this is that they consider being called out for their hatefulness the equivalent to being nailed to a cross. How can a person take seriously a “son of God” who was “crucified for our sins” and think they are persecuted because others get on with their lives without feeling obligated to give a shit what the holy-rollers think and point out the venom in their creeds? Letting someone crucify you, instead of recanting one’s belief is a bit more emphatic and committed than complaining when people don’t like you and say so.

        It seems to me that the name “Jesus” is a talisman for them with which all their hateful and petty feelings are blessed. This, to me, is “taking the Lord’s name in vein”. “I hate fags” sounds like a one-way ticket to hell according to the red-letter teachings of Christ.

        Morally lazy asshats.

  • http://www.politicalruminations.com/ nicole

    >>>It’s like the subtle creep of a Hunger Games economy.

    Perfect.

  • tromnick

    This is why I don’t eat there anymore. Not because of what the CEO said (horrible as it was)…but that it’s now become a symbol, a rallying cry, of the anti-gay movement. And it’s a damn shame, because I fricking loooove chik-fil-a’s chicken. But now it’s hate-chicken to me.

  • 1933john

    I guess that these faithful patrons don’t realize that they’er eating
    the chickens dicks, asses and female unmentionables.
    Actually, I hate to mention this on this Family Site.
    PS Sorry, but I’m laughing my own post.

    • Kitty Smith

      “Female unmentionables”? Women have vulva and vaginas, not cthulhus. They’re not unmentionable.

      • Tony Lavely

        I guess he forgot he wasn’t speaking to the Legislature…

  • 1933john

    Question for Mr Brink:
    If Chick-fil-A serves “Straight” chickens,
    how does it weed-out the ones with the
    “Homo Persuasion”?