Sen. Ted Cruz: Ruler Of The Lunatic People

Senator Ted Cruz Humbly Accepts America's Surrender.

Senator Ted Cruz Humbly Accepts America’s Surrender. Photo by Jose Luis Magana

The Values Voter Summit this weekend couldn’t have come at a better time for conservative Republicans trying to stay united in their gloriously ill-conceived Holy Crusade against The United States Of America.

At the annual conservative group-think event where all impure thoughts are purged under the corporate sponsored lights of a cruel and merciless God, the totally independent thinkers of movement conservatism lined up to preach the gospel of greed and home schooling and pray away their persecution complex as a matter of “smite them because they are smiting you right now!” – Senator Ted Cruz stood out as the most insane among them, taking the trophy for Best Inbred by winning 42% of the crazy people straw poll and walking off with a Bizarro world triumph in his hands.

Normally, this is an annual event that has taken place since 2006, and is just another event in a year-round carousel-of-crazy for the right wing conservative economy, but this year it has taken on new meaning for them with the government shutdown now entering its third week.

At a time when Republicans are claiming to be more than willing to negotiate their release of the hostages directly with the president– because saying they are “willing to negotiate” absolves them of wrongdoing, according to internal poll-tested rhetoric– this whole event was a demonstration of defiance, and any calls for negotiating these “values” of theirs were met with chants of “U.S.A! U.S.A.!” as they did when hecklers interrupted Sen. Cruz, reportedly shouting at him from the back of the room for his lack of support for immigration reform. They eventually shouted them out and they were removed, with Ted Cruz calling them “Obama operatives” several times on the way out– one of many stabs at humor by the freshman Senator, and others, that included metal barriers on the stage as physical props to mock the depantsed U.S. government. Event host Tony Perkins had ushers take down the barriers as a symbolic gesture that conservatism is “open for business,” even though the government is not. Yuk, yuk, yuk. The Department Of Humor has been closed.

The Washington Times, “the official newspaper of the summit,” was thoroughly impressed with Sen. Cruz, hailing him as the most “Reaganesque” in an all-star line-up that featured Senator Rand Paul outright accusing President Obama of killing Christians at home and abroad. Oh, yeah. Senator Paul declared that this president is killing Christians and his subtext was plain: This President must be stopped by any means necessary or more Christians will die. Oh, and, Islam is trying to kill us all, so, “not one penny more to countries that would burn the American flag,” declared Sen. Paul.

Sen. Rand Paul closed his speech by encouraging those in attendance to recall a time in world history when Islam was “enlightened,” and for right wing conservatism to be a Reaganesque beacon for that enlightenment by cutting off all foreign aid to Egypt and Pakistan and shutting down our government. You, know? To teach them a hard lesson in respect for the flag.

But this was an underlying theme for conservatives at this event. When Sen. Marco Rubio got up there, he spoke softly about how converting individuals to his warped version of Christianity is also his role as a U.S. Senator, but we’re all entitled to our own beliefs.  See, you may not ask for it, but conservatives know you need it. And Sen. Rand Paul says he wants to use government to spread Christianity, not only in America, but throughout the world because that’s obviously the proper role of government, but the general idea is that they must teach America a lesson. Teach the world a lesson in enlightenment– forcing us into a corner until we repent. Conversion by fire.

But this was Senator Ted Cruz’s weekend. He’s been chosen to lead this intellectually-violent flock that is totally devoid of sanity at this point, into the darkness of history without a torch. We’re all in Sen. Ted Cruz’s flock, now. Your Lord of The Flies has been crowned and the conch shell has been thrown to the sea. You want it? Go fish.

This weekend, right wing conservatives announced to the country that they’re in charge and they intend to “stand firm,” casting out RINOs who negotiate their principles and betray their values to appease a president who is ordering the slaughter of Christians.

Sen. Ted Cruz responded to one of his several hecklers at the event, “How scared is the President? What a statement of fear, what a statement of fear. Oh, they don’t want the truth to be heard. They definitely don’t want the truth to be heard.”

Fear still reigns supreme as a motivating factor for conservatives. Without it, they have nothing to sell. But in Senator Ted Cruz’s case, he really seems to take extra special joy in the idea that people are afraid, and fear him. Ted Cruz feeds off your fear. If my calculations are correct, soon, Ted Cruz will be 200 ft. tall rampaging through the country destroying government functions and its ability to protect itself in Christ’s name.

The whole weekend was a prayer group to comfort the criminally-insane, to pray away the country’s sins as they douse us with holy water and exorcise our demons like the fanatics who let their children die on the floor from a treatable ailment. There comes a time when the proper authorities are called to arrest the parents and save the child. The problem is, the proper authorities, Republicans in congress, are the ones now directing the exorcism.

The country is dying on the kitchen floor, with conservatives standing over it praying for strength through these perilous times of their making. If crazy has a face, it’s the face of Sen. Ted Cruz– the face of the Republican Party.

This entry was posted in Far-right Intellectual Violence, One Nation Under Fear, Republican Party and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
  • missliberties

    I wonder if the only person that can save us is Newt Gingrich. If he would just wag his finger louder they tea party might feel scolded.

    • mrbrink

      Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, Tom Delay… they taught them everything they know about shutting down government and ruling with an authoritarian fist. I get a kick out of people who say that these Republicans are “not your Father’s Republican party.” Oh, but they are.

      • Robert Scalzi

        so correct – Reagan laid the foundation for these nutballz in his pact w/ the moral majority so he could win the 1980 primary, marrying the neocons together w/ the tinfoil hat religious right . And his AG (in CA and the USA) Ed Meese is one of the architects of the current shutdown. Anyone who defends RayGun is not your friend – Raygun screwed CA for almost a generation after his Governorship ended and we are just now climbing out of the ruins he brought on in CA – I fear it will take another generation or 2 before we can undo the havoc he and his have wreaked on our country.

  • Nefercat

    I would take comfort in them being so clearly bat-crap crazy that they are about to rampage through town with their underpants on their head, singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic, slapping each other upside the head with bibles, and gnawing on the constitution, and we would finally and legally be able to round them up with nets, except for one thing.

    They had enough sense not to invite the Tundra Dunce. Hmm. The Feral Nutball Party.

  • muselet

    Ted Cruz reminds me of nothing so much as the four-year-old who’s stomping loudly around the house in his Halloween T. rex costume, proclaiming, “I’m a scary dinosaur!” It just feels wrong, even cruel, to disabuse him of his fantasy.

    Of course, that four-year-old isn’t holding the country—not to mention the world’s economy—hostage for no good reason, so here goes: Hey, Senator Cruz! When we laugh at you, that doesn’t mean we’re afraid of you, dumbass!

    A brilliantly written piece. However, two quick corrections: the Right doesn’t want to douse us with holy water, they want to drown us in the stuff; also, the Right isn’t merely standing and praying over the country, they have a boot firmly on the country’s throat.

    –alopecia

  • trgahan

    yawn….in two months when the shut down doesn’t completely destroy Obama and chase the Democratic party from the halls of government the next Sen./Gov./Rep. Nut job deux jue will win a similar straw pool of the same fickle hate-filled base until that person has to “compromise.”

    How many of these anointed saviors has the GOP has since 2009?

    • mrbrink

      Okay, okay. I think I’ve compiled a very extensive roster in no particular order:

      Sarah Palin
      Paul Ryan
      Marco Rubio
      Rand Paul
      Ron Paul
      Paul Ron
      Rand Ron
      Liberty
      Freedoms
      Jeb Bush
      Fred Thompson
      Tom Tancredo
      Ted Cruz
      Donald Trump
      Godfather’s Pizza
      Bob McDonnell
      Bobby Jindal
      Rick Perry
      Newt Gingrich
      A pack of Pall Mall non-filters
      BP
      Mitt Romney
      Job Creators
      Mark Sanford
      Rick Santorum
      Ted Nugent
      Rape
      An AR-15
      Clint Eastwood
      Jim DeMint
      Chick-fil-A
      Mike Huckabee
      Tim Pawlenty
      Buddy Hackett
      Greedo

  • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

    Love the “Lord of The Flies” reference! That’s one of the tags on my blog….they’re just bullies who want to run everything and they’ll do anything to get that power including frightening the masses with rumors of a “beast” in the WH. They don’t understand why we don’t want to join with the “biguns”. Eventually they’ll lose patience with us and you know what they’ll do then. We’re all Piggy now.