Wait, What?

You can file this under things I didn’t expect to see today, and for good reason.

From the Associated Press

NEW YORK (AP) — In a field that featured superstars such as Veronica Roth, Rick Riordan and Jeff Kinney, the winner of the Children’s Choice Book Award for author of the year was a brand name of a different kind: Rush Limbaugh.

The conservative commentator won Wednesday night for his best-selling “Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims.” Nominees are determined by how many copies their books sell, but winners are picked by kids, who vote online. The awards were presented by the Children’s Book Council, a nonprofit trade association.

Excellent role model; a man who says women are sluts, the president is a “magic negro,” and that women who benefit from birth control coverage should have to film sex tapes. There’s also those suspicious trips to the Caribbean where he was caught with Viagra without a prescription. Need I go on?

Rush’s winning children’s book, Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims, tells the story of a teacher who dresses up as Paul Revere and travels back in time with his horse named Liberty. Rush Revere and his talking horse Liberty then teach pilgrims about the perils of socialism (Rush uses the word collectivism) and the benefits of free enterprise. You know, the stuff of kids’ dreams.

I’m not exaggerating.

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  • Lady Willpower

    Mmm hmmm. I’m sure LOTS of kids voted on this themselves. Kids love Rush.

    • muselet

      Beat me to it.

      –alopecia

    • Christopher Foxx

      Exactly my first thought. The sales numbers that got it nominated in the first place were inflated by “conservative” groups buying up copies in bulk. I’ve no doubt that the “votes” were from the same folks.

      The idea that, if you have to cheat to get your view promoted then perhaps your view isn’t correct, never even occurs to these people.

      • Lady Willpower

        These are the same buffoons who think Obama won by virtue of Black Panther intimidation, of course.

  • muselet

    On the one hand, the Children’s Choice Book Award isn’t exactly a big deal. Sure, winning one will allow Rush Limbaugh’s publisher to slap AWARD WINNING! stickers on the dust jackets, but outside of publishing circles, it’s a great big who cares?

    On the other hand, the average parent doesn’t know the Children’s Choice Book Award isn’t the same as a Newberry or a Caldicott. I predict there will be some irritated parents when they skim through the book they bought because of that AWARD WINNING! sticker. The Children’s Book Council might get some … erm … negative feedback for this.

    And I wonder (mildly, certainly not enough to do even a desultory search) how much of a role virtual ballot-box stuffing played in Limbaugh’s win.

    –alopecia

    • HilaryB

      I had never heard of this award until today. I think you’re right about the negative feedback the Council might get.

    • Churchlady320

      As to your last point – probably most.

    • Christopher Foxx

      And I wonder (mildly, certainly not enough to do even a desultory search) how much of a role virtual ballot-box stuffing played in Limbaugh’s win.

      I don’t wonder.

  • joseph2004

    The door is open to writing a childrens’ book that counters Limbaugh’s evil message about self-reliance and freedom. I’d suggest Thom Hartmann.
    Thom Revere can go back in time and trash freedom, liberty, the founders, the Constitution they created, and the whole idea of America just as its getting off the ground. Kids will eat it up.

    • Bubble Genius

      Don’t give up your day job. Unless you’re a writer. In which case, it’s okay to give it up.

    • JMAshby

      Yeah, he’ll also kick a puppy and punch George Washington in the mouth. Liberals love doing that, amirite?

    • GrafZeppelin127

      “The door is open to writing a childrens’ book that counters Limbaugh’s evil message about self-reliance and freedom self-congratulation, resentment, greed, white privilege, sexism, peevishness and cruelty.”

      FIFY.

      • BanditBasheert

        you forgot drug addiction and pedophilia – Rush’s reason to travel to the Dominican Republic with Viagra and oxycontin.

        • GrafZeppelin127

          That’s his psychology, not his “message.”

        • Toolymegapoopoo

          Don’t forget that Rush once admitted to collecting unemployment. So much for “self-reliance.”

    • Lady Willpower

      “trash(ing) freedom, liberty, the founders, the Constitution they created, and the whole idea of America…”

      The sad thing is you actually think that’s what we stand for. And that Limbaugh stands for the opposite.

    • Churchlady320

      The real story, one you will never understand, is really cool and has been told many times. BTW – Paul Revere long predates the Constitution and wasn’t part of it, so you fail on historical knowledge much less on your relevance.

    • aynwrong

      YES!!!
      Because that is exactly how all “Libruls” think and sound.
      Do yourself a favor, go buy a dictionary and look up the word propaganda. Once you have fully grasped the definition, take a good, long look in the mirror and you will be provided with a perfect visual match.

  • aynwrong

    This sadly just offers up more proof of what I already knew. Many, many, many American parents are genuinely stupid people.

    • Churchlady320

      Not necessarily parents but possibly paid trolls with a list of kids who didn’t even know they were being used?

      • aynwrong

        Sounds like a really bad episode of Law and Order: SVU.

  • GrafZeppelin127

    This is the “good” kind of “indoctrination.”

  • Toolymegapoopoo

    It is jaw dropping the lengths at which conservatives covet meaningless awards and accolades because they believe it leads to validation for their sick beliefs. There is simply no way a ton of kids read this tripe let alone went online and voted for it. A more likely scenario is zealous parents buying copies of the book and placing them on the shelf right next to unopened copies of Bill O’Reilly’s “history” books and Glenn Beck’s Overton Window. Also laying on the shelf would be a unused ticket for Atlas Shrugged or Passion of the Christ to use as a bookmark should you ever want to pretend that those books were actually opened.

    • Churchlady320

      What other kind of validation could they get other than meaningless awards?

  • bbiemeret

    I onced worked for a restaurant that shall remain nameless, that made their employees each fill out 5 ballots for the local “best of” competition each year. They had a sample ballot you were supposed to follow to the letter. Due to this, I give little credence to anything with unregulated voting.

    • Churchlady320

      Was thinking much the same but presuming that Mommy and Daddy RWNJ urged little Dick and Jane to do it – or did it for them.

  • kingfrazer

    Just go into any elementary school (well, make sure you clear this with the office first), find ten random kids, and ask them which they prefer, Diary of a Wimpy Kid or Rush Revere. If this award wants to achieve relevance, they need to police their voting process better.

  • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

    I have several problems with this story.

    1) The NYT bestseller list is infamously easy to rig, and RW think tanks do it all the time by buying up thousands of copies to make their favorite wingnut authors look good.

    2) Looking at the other balloting choices, I see only one book that isn’t a sequel. That’s a rigged contest to begin with.

    3) Was there ANY ballot vetting to be sure these were actual children voting, and not a bunch of RWers posing as children? I doubt it.

    4) Limbaugh is famous for artificially-inflated Arbitron ratings, for buying mass Twitter follows, and other forms of astroturfing. This smells like another example of Rush lifting his image up by his fake bootstraps.

  • jentiernan

    What the f*cknuts? I don’t know any kids who have read that piece of garbage.

  • mrbrink

    Kids love Rush Limbaugh. Especially those 49 and up. And if you want Mommy and Daddy to love you as much as your brother, you’ll learn to love Rush, too!

    It’s like an arranged marriage of a 13 year old girl to the wealthiest scumbag in every terrible arranged marriage ever.

    They must have been giving away some sort of vintage youth knife and dog whistle decoder ring with every purchase.