If There Was A Pulitzer for Trolling, Glenn Greenwald Would Totally Win

In addition to using his platform to relentlessly shame and scold anyone who isn’t as ideologically unsullied as he is, author and editor for The Intercept Glenn Greenwald is absolutely a professional troll. This feature of his generally crotchety, snippy personality manifests itself mostly on Twitter, where he brandishes the format’s 140 character poking-stick and routinely jabs it in the neck of the establishment (which he himself is now a part of) or, for that matter, just about anyone who falls in line with popular opinion.

Being not unintelligent, Greenwald knows exactly how to bludgeon a news event that even remotely overlaps his two or three areas of interest — zinging the debate with his special brand of pious, self-righteous indignation. You can almost envision him authoritatively clicking the blue “Tweet” button then cackling, “HA! That’ll show ‘em! Suckerrrrrs!”

But yesterday on Twitter, Greenwald broke through another rock layer, drilling deeper into an all new substrata of trolling awfulness.

In the midst of the public debate surrounding the controversial homecoming of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, the last American POW held by the Taliban in Afghanistan, Greenwald naturally didn’t offer up any words of congratulations or even criticism of those who are demonizing the former POW. Because of course he didn’t. Greenwald offering any sentiment remotely sympathetic to the military or the officials who negotiated Bergdahl’s freedom is anathema to his well-crafted brand as a persnickety contrarian who eschews anything related to the government or the military (minus Chelsea Manning, that is).

Instead, here’s what he tweeted to his 362,000 followers:

greenwald-bergdahl_tweet_1

Yeah, huge shocker that Americans are more sympathetic to an American soldier held captive for five years than a gaggle of al-Qaida terrorists and Taliban leaders. How silly of us. We should be grateful that Greenwald is here to scold us for our obviously lopsided sympathies. We’re such monsters, applauding the return of an American.

Also, note the use of the word “cage,” which is one of Greenwald’s hot-rotation words, trotted out whenever someone he supports is threatened with prison. Sorry, Greenwald, but prisoners are held in prison cells — what you call “cages” — because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be in prison. It’s unclear what Greenwald would consider to be an acceptable means of detaining prisoners because cells are clearly out of the question.

Of course Greenwald’s contention is that none of the remaining Guantanamo detainees have been charged or convicted of any crimes, so they shouldn’t be in “cages” at all… READ MORE

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  • Eric Cassidy

    Prison IS a cage for humans, and the life of a gitmo detainee is not in fact “worth less” than an Americans life. From the tone of your post, it’s seems you think otherwise. Most of us (Americans) ARE monsters in our treatment of those outside of our country (and many within).

    You criticize him for “not knowing the rules of war” – rules? This isn’t monopoly, this is real life and we all (all of us) only have one life to live. To deprive someone of their life without charge, or trial – it’s sub-human. (Or more frighteningly, maybe that’s what defines us as human, our cruelty and irrationality).

    Nationalistic pride is childish and petty. We’re on stuck on this rock together, and the sooner we can start acting as such, we can start working on saving the entire planet. We should be looking to the sky, not our borders.

    • http://www.dlancystreet.com reginahny

      And the democratically elected party that is going to usher in this utopia of a world without borders is? Some of us North Americans on this rock are working both within and without our borders to fight systemic problems which include, but are not limited to, economic inequality, climate change, slavery, etc. Using words like “cage” to specifically demonize North American prisons is an effective outrage tool, but not an effective tool for change.

    • Churchlady320

      People value their cultures, language, customs which does not work against human understanding. The larger the arena of diffusion, however, the less one’s identity and sense of immediate community can thrive well. There does not have to be a massive dislocation between a sense of history and place and an interest in others’ well being. To posit that having an identity necessarily leads to xenophobia or hyper-nationalism is just silly.

      The people still at Gitmo are there for one reason, and you need to put the blame where it deserves to be: they were tortured. This puts them into a horrid status because they cannot be tried when the ‘evidence’ was all secured from torture. The efforts to work this out have been thwarted by the GOP who blocked moving them to the US, who have further blocked repatriating them. Once we elected a president who obeys the rules of law, they were left in far more decent status – they are able finally to mingle, share common space, communicate with one another – but without a decent legal framework by which they can receive justice. Blame Bush and Cheney for this – full release when we don’t know what they actually did is extremely risky, but trial by torture is legally impossible. They will be released at the conclusion of actions in Afghanistan. Thank the GOP for stripping these people of all rights by imposing vile and inhumane actions upon them.

  • Mike Lumisch

    Here on the anniversary of Greenwald’s earthshatteringly inept handling of the Snowden trove of stolen documents, the hysterical ninnies at dailykos.com are wailing and gnashing their collective teeths over what they style as the USA FREEDUMBER act. Their colons are blocked up to their tonsils with outrage that the NSA used the leaks to leverage more permission than they had before to conduct surveillance in the states.

    Me? I meh. We of the left brought this on ourselves with our inept response. Presented with the best opportunity I have seen in twenty years to build popular support for serious reforms to the National Security State, we pissed it away giving each other high fives for being such splendid fellows and launching angry twitter swarms against the heterodox who were not sufficiently vicious in their denunciations of the wrongthinkers. With no movement worthy of the name there is no pressure on Congress and reform is dead for generation.

    Congratulations, assholes, you had better be really fucking proud of yourselves for what you have done.