Conspiracy Theory 2: The Batshittening

We have a new theory on the influx of undocumented children from Central America and this one is the craziest theory yet.

According to the head of ALIPAC, President Obama has facilitated the migration of these children in cooperation with China to punish “evil Whitey.”

via RightWingWatch

In an interview with Jim Schneider of VCY America on Tuesday, anti-immigrant activist William Gheen of Americans for Legal Immigration PAC claimed that in the event of a U.S.- China war over the Taiwan Strait, China will recruit undocumented immigrants to fight the U.S. from within and will then give them American land, a move he compared to Abraham Lincoln giving land to former slaves after recruiting blacks to fight in the Civil War. [...]

Earlier in the interview, Gheen claimed that President Obama is “sponsoring and facilitating” an immigrant “invasion” so “what he sees as evil Whitey can’t ever do anything to come back from it.”

Let’s make sure we get this right.

President Obama secretly fostered violence in Central American countries so that children would flee north into the United States only to later join the Chinese military in an invasion. After the successful invasion and the end of America as we know it, the child soldiers will be given land.

Most importantly, the president hatched this nefarious plot just to punish white people.

Whoa

Do white people really deserve to live if we fall for the oldest trick in the book; the secret Skrull invasion of children? The plan doesn’t work if just one thread of it pulls loose, so if Obama can pull this off his legacy will undoubtedly rival that of the most insidious comic book supervillians.

William Gheen is not necessarily a fringe voice. A number of Republican congressional candidates and sitting congressmen have sought the support of the Americans for Legal Immigration PAC.

Two weeks ago Gheen warned that immigrants “may smile at you as they serve you your cheeseburger or peruse across your lawn with a weed eater” but they’re actually plotting to kill you. That was after he called on opponents of immigration reform to mail dirty underwear to politicians who support it.

Sitting congressmen Steve King (R-IA) and Steve Stockman (R-TX) also believe the undocumented children were led into the country by President Obama to become future Democratic voters and usher in a new era of socialism, but China and the coming Race War didn’t make into their theory.

WorldNetDaily believes the children will be used to incite a revolution and declare martial law.

Who knows what tomorrow’s theory will be? I bet it will involve Nazis on the Moon.

This entry was posted in China, Conspiracy Theory, Immigration, Wingnuts, WTF and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.
  • GrafZeppelin127

    I think “Batshittening” should be spelled thusly. Awesome made-up word that I will be using.

    • JMAshby

      Now, see, I originally spelled it that way and then second-guessed myself.

      • GrafZeppelin127

        Not so much the spelling as the pronunciation. With one “t” it would rhyme with “whitening.”

        • JMAshby

          Style-guide updated.

  • Nefercat

    Well, it appears that for the foreseeable future, “Oh, ffs” will be an applicable comment to almost any story.

    I hope I am watching the first time the President or any media person looks right at one of these scratching, gibbering, lice-nibbling, squawking, baying loads of ambulatory goo, and says any of the following with a look of total amazement on his/her face:
    “You are out of your fucking mind.”
    “You are batshit insane.”
    “What in God’s name is wrong with you, you demented loon?”
    “What did you do with the money your mama gave you for smart lessons?”
    “Say something intelligent. Go on, I dare you.”
    “Get back to me when you are not swinging from a chandelier.”

    Or just point and laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more. And then wipe the tears from their eyes and laugh and laugh again.

    And then walk away just shaking their head.

    There is no reason whatsoever ever again for anyone with an IQ above dust bunnies to give one second of consideration to anything any of these ragerabbits spew out.

  • muselet

    The guy down by the courthouse who spends his days arguing with trash cans makes more sense than William Gheen.

    –alopecia

    • Jone_of_Snark

      I’m telling you, I hardly recognized Scalia without the robe!

      • muselet

        *golf clap*

        –alopecia

  • Treading_Water
  • Treading_Water

    Speaking of moon nazis, Eric Dondero (former Ron Paul aide) tweeted thusly:

    @OsborneInk Due process? Are you fucking high? Why do Nazi invaders get “due process”? They’re here to destroy the US.

    So apparently, the Nazis didn’t have to go to the moon, they were content to stage their Hitler Clone Invasion from South America, just like in that documentary, The Boys From Brazil.

  • http://www.alipac.us William Gheen

    This is not what I was saying at all. Can’t you crazy liberal moonbats make a point without lying your asses off? Here is the full interview in context if any of you would like to see the war college reports to the pentagon about groups within America being a threat during any major future warfare engagements, email me and ill send you the link to the studies by the pros.

    Full interview….
    http://67.36.84.226/crosstalk2/ct140708.mp3

    • Treading_Water

      Do you have a link to a transcript?

    • http://www.aquariusmoon.info CarolDuhart

      Insanity. So ten year old babies from war-torn Central America are going to be a reserve force for China, who has millions of its citizens it could send here. And why would China want to do that?

      This comes from too much reading of Left Behind, folks. For decades these crazy people have been looking for an antichrist, an invasion-for those of you of a certain age, the prediction was that Chinese armies would invade Israel to conquer it. Why? logic didn’t extend that far. Before that, it would be the Russians. Well, since neither are going anywhere near Israel at the moment, the next big thing would preseumably be the United States. Why expend millions of healthy young men, many of them their parent’s only children and risk a nuclear war? Logic doesn’t extend that far. Why would the fleeing undocumented children ally with Chinese folks who they don’t know anything about when they are adults? Logic doesn’t extend that far.