Conspiracy Theory

tinfoilHats

It’s not entirely clear what Texas Governor Rick Perry believes, but he believes… something.

“I have to believe that when you do not respond in any way, that you are either inept, or you have some ulterior motive of which you are functioning from,” Perry said on ABC’s “This Week” when host Martha Raddatz asked him if he really believes there is a “conspiracy to get people into the United States by the federal government.” [...]

“We either have an incredibly inept administration, or they’re in on this somehow or another. I mean I hate to be conspiratorial, but I mean how do you move that many people from Central America across Mexico and then into the United States without there being a fairly coordinated effort?” he asked.

Apparently all President Obama wanted for Christmas was a humanitarian crisis involving children on the border. Because if you’re alleging that he “somehow or another” planned this in advance, you’re also alleging that he thoroughly enjoys shit sandwiches.

But to what end? Why would the president conspire to move tens of thousands of children across the border? What nefarious purpose will hungry children serve? Is this a secret invasion?

It’s also possible that young immigrants and their families simply took it upon themselves to travel northward because they don’t want to die, but that’s not nearly as sexy.

Those rising up to take their country back from marauding hordes of poor, helpless children will have to take a number and get in line because there’s no shortage of assholes whose bloodthirsty cries to let the brown children die can be heard across the country.

This entry was posted in Conspiracy Theory, Immigration, Rick Perry, Wingnuts. Bookmark the permalink.
  • muselet

    It’s not entirely clear what Texas Governor Rick Perry believes …

    Sure it is. Rick Perry believes he’s running for president (of the United States of America or the Confederate States of America, he’ll decide at some future date) in 2016.

    Jerry Patterson clearly believes that, as well, or he wouldn’t be desperately lobbing thinly-veiled insults at Goodhair.

    –alopecia

  • Churchlady320

    Twitter had a photo of an 8-year-old boy, clutching just his water bottle, smiling with cautious hope at the ICE border agent beside him.

    I cannot muster a single emotion other than empathy for this tiny, brave tyke. How Perry can pretend he’s a ‘Christian’ and be so callous to this and all the other children is beyond me.

  • Nefercat

    “I mean I hate to be conspiratorial, but I mean how do you move that many people from Central America across Mexico and then into the United States without there being a fairly coordinated effort?”
    ————————-
    Perry’s me-look-smart glasses aren’t working. Maybe he should tape them over his mouth.

    A flatworm exhibits a higher level of central nervous system activity than Governor Derpderp.