Conspiracy Theory

Wolverines

On Monday Texas Governor Rick Perry opined that the Obama administration might be “somehow or another” responsible for the influx of undocumented children and that the president may have an “ulterior motive” for allowing it to continue.

Thanks to WorldNetDaily, we now know what the motive is: provoke conservatives into an uprising.

Today’s warning comes from Morgan Brittany, who writes that Obama will use the increase in child migrants as a calculated way to incite an anti-Obama revolution, giving the president a justification to introduce “martial law,” start “confiscating our guns and ammo,” create a “totalitarian state” and begin a spate of “military arrests”

That darn Obama sure is devious.

Apparently he fostered violence in the home countries of these children who then migrated to America. Now that they’re here, they’ll be used to provoke conservatives into a revolution that will open the door for another terrible remake of Red Dawn.

The most unbelievable aspect of this theory is the idea that conservatives are going to leave the couch and march against the government in force.

Coal-rolling is their idea of a revolution.

This entry was posted in Conspiracy Theory, Immigration, Rick Perry and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.
  • Ipecac

    Frankly, at this point I wish these people were right and the government *would* just roll in and throw these asshats in jail, if for no other reason than to shut them the hell up.

    Sheesh.

  • Lady Willpower

    The “smart guy” glasses are definitely not working.

  • trgahan

    “…use the increase in child migrants as a calculated way to incite an anti-Obama revolution…”

    So is this an on the record admission that totally not racist/xenophobic/hate filled, formerly apolitical, fiscal conservatives “who just worry about the direction of our nation” are so abhorred by the idea of a poor Hispanic children in our country illegally that if someone were to intentionally pack our ICE detention centers with enough of kids these “Real Americans” will engage in anti-government violence? They are seriously saying that too many illegal brown kids would justify their “revolution”?

    How can this not be turning into a another Clive Bundy “I know something about the Negra!” moment?

  • Nefercat

    “The most unbelievable aspect of this theory is the idea that conservatives are going to leave the couch and waddle against the government in force.”

    Boy, they don’t take personal responsibility for anything, do they? So when they finally stop humping their guns and watching fox news slack-jawed and drooling, to finally go after that *%&^ in the WHITE House as they have dreamed about doing since January 2009 (‘Murkin Spring! 30,000,000 strong!), it’ll be because the President made them do it?

    Fucking cretinous, traitorous, mouth breathing snotblobs.

  • Nefercat

    1) Conspire with several none-too-stable Central American governments to send all their children unaccompanied to the US via Mexico (easy-peasy, right?) in order to…

    2) Incite rill “Murkins to RISE UP! against the onslaught of terrified small children, because of course that is the logical response to a humanitarian crisis…

    3) And then the President will have an excuse to declare martial law.

    Thoughts:
    1) The President is pretty bright. If he wanted to declare martial law, he could probably come up with, you know, an intelligent plan.
    2) Just because these pusballs would happily throw women and children into danger doesn’t mean everyone would.
    3) Is he a bleeding heart liberal wanting to bring in a bunch of welfare parasites for free phones and health care, or is he a cold-blooded monster that would set in place the exodus of small children across thousands of dangerous miles so that he could snatch Cletus’s gun away?

    Wolverines everywhere are embarrassed.

    • bphoon

      1) The President is pretty bright. If he wanted to declare martial law, he could probably come up with, you know, an intelligent plan.

      And a much simpler one as well.

  • muselet

    If Obama gets his way and the system collapses through illegal immigration or financial means, if he succeeds in confiscating our guns and ammo so that no one but the government has them, then we the people will be at their mercy, and the sad thing is that many people will welcome their control. At that point the American people will be helpless against a totalitarian state, and they will have succeeded in the full transformation of this country.

    Is it just me, or does that read like an on-the-nose parody of Righty madness?

    –alopecia

    • j hentai

      it’s like wingnut madlibs.