Do You Even Lift? Shirtless Old Bro Pumps Iron in Campaign Ad

It’s been a while since we’ve featured an unhinged Republican campaign ad, so here’s an ad for shirtless, iron-pumping, ‘roided-up Old Bro and Arizona gubernatorial candidate Frank Riggs, an army veteran whose had just about enough of that Obama character and healthcare for poor people.

Arizona needs a strong governor. I’m Frank Riggs. Army vet, ex-cop, and a Congressman who rooted out corruption in Washington.

Big changes take hard work. As Governor, I’ll protect public safety and finally secure our border. I’ll fight federal overreach and the Obamanization of Arizona by repealing Common Core on day one and stopping Medicaid expansion. And I’ll fix the state budget, and get our economy growing again.

Frank Riggs is a man with a plan. A plan to get the economy growing again by shitting on education standards, denying healthcare to hundreds of thousands of people, and denying billions of dollars in federal funding to the state’s medical industry.

Sorry, what I mean is he’s going to get the economy growing again by ending “Obamanization.”

At least we can all agree that “Obamanization” means providing healthcare to those who have none. There are worse things to be known for, such as trying to deny healthcare to those who have none.

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  • Christopher Foxx

    I can’t help but notice that the face of the person doing the pullups is never shown. Three different clips, never a face…

    • j hentai

      probably a wrestler

  • muselet

    “… a Congressman who rooted out corruption in Washington.”

    Ooh, that sounds terribly important, doesn’t it? Well … Frank Riggs and the Gang of Seven cared about scandals only to the extent that they thought they could claim scalps (in fairness, they did get the scalps of a couple people who actually were crooked, and good on them for that).

    I also note with interest that Riggs doesn’t say he didn’t represent Arizona in the House (his seat was CA-01), or that he last served in the House in 1999, or that he only moved to Arizona in 2001.

    This could be a very amusing gubernatorial—emphasis of course on “goober”—race, especially if this is an indication of Riggs’s campaign theme: vote for me and I’ll flex for you. (Yeesh.)

    –alopecia

  • Lady Willpower

    So pull-ups equals good governing? You know who I bet can do an assload of pull-ups?
    The dreaded MOOCHELLE herself. I bet that sister can kill it on the pull-up bar. I guess that means she’s presidential material.

  • captkurt

    Vote for me – cuz I ain’t no pussy! Are you looking at me? Do you want me to kick your ass?

    Gee, I wonder why he moved from California to Arizona?

  • j hentai

    by the way., happy birthday! also, well said.

  • bphoon

    You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.