Iron-Pumping, Anti-Immigrant Bro Candidate Doesn’t Know Why Militia Followed Him

Oracle-AZ-Protest

Frank Riggs, the shirtless, iron-pumping, ‘roided-up Bro candidate running for governor in Arizona can’t figure out why a group of militiamen followed him around at an anti-immigrant protest.

During an interview with TPM, Riggs said he doesn’t know why they would follow him.

Immigration protesters, including gubernatorial candidate and former congressman Frank Riggs, had gathered in Oracle, Ariz. to rally against the expected arrival of a busload of Central American migrant children. A group of armed militiamen were providing security for Riggs, Phoenix TV station KTVK reported. [...]

“There were individuals there who were dressed, outfitted as militia types,” Riggs told TPM. “To be honest with you they followed me around, I guess thinking that they might provide some kind of security to me.” [...]

“I neither requested them in any way, shape or form, I didn’t arrange for them to be there nor did I ask for their help or services,” Riggs told TPM.

As we all know, there is nothing more menacing or ferocious than a busload of migrant children, the majority of whom are less than 10-years-old. It very well may be that the services of an old, white militia of Hatriots will be needed to thwart any attempt by the children to ask Frank Riggs ‘may I please have some more?’

Why else would they follow him around like lost puppies? It could be because he’s running on an anti-immigrant, anti-”Obamanization” platform, pledging to secure the border. They’re his constituents.

This seems entirely appropriate.

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  • KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker

    Well said Ashby.
    By the way, I’m stealing the term Hatriots.

  • Christopher Foxx

    Why else would they follow him around like lost puppies? … They’re his constituents.

    Which should be rubbed in his face at any opportunity.

    “Who are these scary idiots following me around everywhere?”
    They’re you’re chains, Marley. The woman in room 237, Mr Torrance. They’re exactly what you created and asked for.

  • muselet

    Ashby, you missed the laugh-out-loud funniest line in that interview:

    “I didn’t bring anybody along. You know, I’m a big boy and perfectly capable of protecting myself,” Riggs told TPM.

    Translation: Me macho! Spic-lovers no scare me!

    What a waste of carbon.

    –alopecia