Author Archives: JM Ashby

Not So Much

Artist – Tim Eagan In other news, the largest food bank in the US, the Food Bank For New York City (FBFNYC), is running out of food because of budget cuts. It’s worth noting that House Republicans said the cuts … Continue reading

Posted in Open Thread | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Bachmann and King Go to the Border to Look for Pregnant Mothers to Kick Out

Outgoing elected crazy person Michele Bachmann and secret border control agent Steve King went to the border to look for immigrants and all they found were fishermen. Roma, Texas (CNN) — Michele Bachmann leapt out of a black SUV near … Continue reading

Posted in Racism | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Oh Fuck No

via WaPo “I think it would be very helpful if President Obama went and met with [Darren Wilson] or invited him to the White House and said, ‘You’ve gone through four months of smear and slander and the least we … Continue reading

Posted in WTF | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Darren Wilson’s Testimony is an Infantilized Fantasy

To say that Officer Darren Wilson’s testimony was ridiculous really doesn’t do it justice. It would not be a stretch to say that it reads like Stormfront fan fiction or a white nationalist comic book. He felt like “Hulk Hogan.” … Continue reading

Posted in Justice, Wingnuts, WTF | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

The National Bar Association is Just As Dismayed As You Are

Because of leaks from the grand jury and the way the initial investigation was handled, or not handled, it was not a total surprise that Office Darren Wilson was not indicted for the killing of Michael Brown. But just because … Continue reading

Posted in Justice | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Drama Club

Artist – Joe Heller In other news, shootings by police are now the the leading cause of violent death in Utah according to the Salt Lake Tribune. Meanwhile, former New York Mayor Rudy “9/11″ Giuliani would like to inform you … Continue reading

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What Benghazi Report?

A sweeping House committee report that clears the administration of wrongdoing and debunks two years worth of conspiracy theories may seem important to you, but three out of the four major networks didn’t spend a single second covering it yesterday. … Continue reading

Posted in The Media | Tagged | Leave a comment

Idiot Quote of the Day

It’s possible for a quote to be so dumb it cannot be quantified. ISIS is starting its own currency. May be stronger than the dollar if ObamaCare is fully implemented. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 24, 2014

Posted in Super Stupid | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Pro-War and Anti-War Hero Rand Paul Unveils His (and the President’s) Foreign Policy

Yes, that’s an awkward headline, but work with me here. Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) is preparing to introduce a declaration of war against ISIS and, according to The Daily Beast, his declaration will “allow boots on the ground.” Perhaps most … Continue reading

Posted in Foreign Policy | Tagged , | 3 Comments

John McCain Wants Benghazi Conspiracy Theorist Lindsey Graham to Run for President, And Other News

If Lindsey Graham knows what’s good for the rest of us, he’ll listen to his longtime buddy John McCain and throw his hat into the presidential ring. “I think he is looking at it, and I am strongly encouraging him … Continue reading

Posted in Epic Fail, Ethics | Tagged , , , , , | 7 Comments

Running With Scissors

I feel conflicted because, on one hand, this woman is dead and that’s terrible, but on the other hand, well, just read this: St. Louis (CNN) — A woman appears to have accidentally fatally shot herself in the head with … Continue reading

Posted in Epic Fail | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Chart of the Day

Artist – Pat Bagley In other news, there’s no shortage of things to laugh at in the world today, but this may be the funniest. “With this action, the president has chosen to deliberately sabotage any chance of enacting bipartisan … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

Posted in Immigration, Open Thread | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Colbert on “Executive Amnesty”

The predictable nature of GOP lunacy means Colbert’s commentary from before the president gave his speech last night needs no alteration. If Obama doesn’t deport these people who are already here, I can only imagine how violent the American people … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

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The House GOP Finally Files Their Lawsuit

Now that House Republicans have finally filed their lawsuit against the president after talking about it for nearly half a year, the countdown to when it will be thrown out of court can begin. What’s interesting though is that the … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

Posted in Healthcare | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Darrell Issa Has Time for One Last Fake Scandal

Grand Inquisitor Darrell Issa only has a limited amount of time left as the chairman of the Oversight Committee, but he intends to spend it on one last fake scandal. Darrell Issa is diving into “Grubergate” — a conniption centered … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

Posted in Ethics | Tagged | 6 Comments

And the Award for the Most Unhinged Response Goes To…

The competition is steep, but the award for the Most Unhinged Response to the president’s executive actions on immigration should probably go to Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach (R), the father of “Papers Please” anti-immigration law. “What protects us … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

Posted in Wingnuts | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Clear Message

Artist – Tim Eagan In other news, former Senator Scott Brown is getting back in the saddle at Fox News after losing the election. Again. Meanwhile, President Obama will address the nation tonight at 8 p.m. ET regarding the action … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

Posted in Open Thread | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

The Colbert Report Performs a Public Service, Exposes “Huge Douchebag” Libertarian Bros

This isn’t necessarily funny because utterly contemptable assholes like this do exist, but the Colbert Report makes them slightly more palatable. For fighting for their constitutional right to be total fuckstains, the Free Keene Squad are tonight’s difference makers. And, … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

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Rand Paul, the Civil Rights Hero Who Thinks the Civil Rights Act Went Too Far

Rand Paul is known for many things, chiefly among them is his belief that ending segregated lunch counters was a federal overreach and that private businesses should be allowed to discriminate. He could hardly be described as the ‘biggest defender … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

Posted in Civil Rights, Dumbassery, Rand Paul | 5 Comments

House Committee Says Defunding Executive Action is Impossible

The Republican-controlled House Appropriations Committee has quietly informed Republican leadership that they cannot defund the president’s actions on immigration because the agency responsible for implementing it is not funded by Congress; it’s funded by user fees. [The] committee said the … Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading Continue reading

Posted in Epic Fail, Government Shutdown | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments